“Like with the other cave,” I say, a (dim) lightbulb turning on in my brain. “How a whole group of guys died because one person was too scared to go against what’s in front of him. All those judges were kind of like cave prisoners, right? So focused on what was illegal or legal, they keep themselves in chains and are fine there. They never realized they could have empathy or think for themselves about what justice means.”
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Vale smile as big as he is right now as he nods. “Exactly. Yeah. Look at you. Maybe you don’t need me as much as you think you do.”
“Nah, not true.”
“Well, you are getting it. You’re wishing there could’ve been just one person who got out of his chains. And you’re thinking about how that makes everything that comes after different and better.”
“But he just gets chained back up in the end.”
“Change and growth are hard. Staying where you’re comfortable is easy. And making sure everyone stays there with you, well, there are a lot of people out there who would gladly be that person.”
Barrera flashes in my head. The way he so happily talked shit about that gay player. But also my Pops and uncles. How I’ve grown up going to a few México games with them and seen them excitedly yell“culero”at a player with the entire stadium. How I have gay, queer, nonbinary friends and call myself an ally,but I’ve let it all go because I didn’t think it was ever worth starting a fight over.
And maybe that makes me one of these chained-up guys staring at a wall.
“I want to be different. I want to be that escaped prisoner seeing the sun. Someone who’s brave enough to tell people the truth, even when it might get me chained right back up again.”
“I think you’ve found what to write about then,” Vale says, his smile going softer, but still just as bright and proud. “And, for what it’s worth, I think you are.”
Got me feeling like I’m the one blushing now. “Really? You think I’m like the guy who escapes and sees the sun?”
“Absolutely. And I want that for you too.”
“Thanks,” I tell him, resting my head on a fist, watching him take down some notes, thinking about how his shoulder looks like a pretty comfortable place to take a brain breather. “What do you think about when your brain isn’t in philosopher mode?”
“What do I think about?”
“Yeah, you know, when you’re just chilling. What’s that look like?”
He closes his laptop and pushes it away, bringing the fruit bowl in front of him and grabbing a strawberry. “I’ve always been really into X-Men.”
“For real?”
“Yeah. And, maybe not a great answer because they’re what got me into philosophy in the first place, but my cousins—the same ones that run the shop—would let me read their comics when I was little, and I fell in love with X-Men. Their whole ‘symbolism for being queer’ thing really resonated with eight-year-old me. I still love comics and graphic novels. I think, if I could do anything with a degree in Philosophy and English, it’d be to write them. I’m not good at drawing, like, at all, so I’d have to have an illustrator, but that’s the dream.”
“Who are your favorite X-Men?”
“Magneto, for, again, philosophical reasons. His ideas of morality are wild and really fun to think about. Bobby—Iceman—especially when he came out as gay. And … Nightcrawler. As someone who grew up Catholic, his whole vibe is appealing in a weird way. Also, teleportation is really cool.”
“Okay, I know all of them. They were in the movies, right?”
“Yeah, they were in the movies.”
“Who do you think my favorite would be?” I ask. “Honestly, I’ve only ever seen the movies, so I don’t know a whole lot about all of them. I thought Cyclops was pretty cool.”
“That’s unsurprising,” Vale teases before going quiet, his fingers tapping the island counter as he thinks, focusing on me. And then his eyes go wide as he says, “Sunspot. Roberto Da Costa. He’s this mutant from Brazil, soccer player; like, really good soccer player. But—to go back to our assignment real quick that you so easily got us away from—he can basically absorb solar energy and do cool shit with it. Become stronger, fly, blast it. He’s at his best in the sun.”
“He sounds cool.”
“I’ll have to bring you a comic. And we can watch some stuff, but the comics are definitely better when it comes to him. I’ll introduce you.”
“And when you have your own comic, you’ll have to make a character based off me.”
“For sure. The best superhero of them all.”
My eyes go down to where Vale’s looking, at one of his hands lying on the counter. I spend a second on each finger and watching that hand move, holding my breath as he slowly gets closer to my arm until he’s touching me. He gently rotates my arm so the underside is showing and he can see the large bruise making my skin purple.
“Is this okay?”
