I nearly collapse to my knees with how grateful I am. My face goes up to the sky and my gloves brush over my head.Fuck. Finally.When my eyes come back down, I see my team huddling around Ahmed at our benches, that goal like a shot of adrenaline. Pérez nearly screaming, “Bien crack, papi! Pinche crack!” For a second, I wish I could be over there with them. Celebrating that goal with my teammate and roommate. Telling him how I knew he’d get it done.
Butmyjob isn’t done yet. I’ve got to make sure his work doesn’t (hypothetically) go to waste with these final two kicks.I’ve got to gather what’s left of my drive and keep going. For my boys and for myself.
“¡A huevo! Let’s go!”
Officially, we’ve added our first tie to our season’s record. Unofficially, we left the game two-and-oh with Barrera coming in for a second point on our fifth kick. And, yeah, it didn’t matter, but it was fun. As tired as we all were, as borderline over it as I might’ve been in the moment, we shook hands with Arizona’s team feeling that sort of camaraderie that only comes from knowing we were all doing what we love and we wouldn’t trade it for nothing, even on the hottest day of the year in the hottest place on the planet.
“Yo, Gabo,” Pérez calls after running into the bathroom, yelling over the rush of cold water showering over me. “We’re thinking of heading to a party. Barrera got an invite from some sorority girls that were at the game. You coming?”
Eyes closed, I take a slow breath in and out before answering him with a short, “Nah.” Honestly, I’ve been thinking about how nice it might be to just stand right here under the showerhead for the next hour. “Y’all go.”
“Piña, for real?” Ahmed’s voice asks from the other side of the shower curtain. “You should be celebrating tonight.”
“Yeah, for real. I’m good. Y’all have fun.”
I hear an annoyed huff come from him before getting back an “Alright. If I meet a couple girls, want me to slide in a casual ‘I got a friend back at our hotel’? Or are you and your girl back home official now?”
“We … I’m good.” I’m not trying to bring them into a “Help me figure out where I’m really at with this girl” discussion right now when they’re trying to get to a party. Maybe when theycome back a little drunk I can use that liquid honesty for some advice.
“Fine,”Pérez says. “I’ll text you later, though. If we order some food or something, see if you’re up and want some chicken nuggets. Also, was FaceTiming Kat; they said to tell El Chivo he did good work today. Puro crack.”
I smile as I reply, “Tell them thanks.”
I don’t go the whole hour. Mostly because the realization hits me that we’re in the desert so I should probably be better about using up their water. I’m going to assume they don’t have a lot to begin with here. But those five minutes were as relaxing as I could’ve hoped for.
And, even better, right after mostly drying off, I get to fall right into bed, still butt-ass naked, landing on the comfortable mattress—especially compared with what they’ve got us sleeping on back in Corpus, even with the memory foam topper my parents bought me—and not have to worry about being bothered for a while. I can bury my face in a pillow, let that calm cover my body, and the AC dry off whatever the towel missed. If we were back home, I’d fall asleep just like this. For both my and Ahmed’s sakes, I’ll get up in a minute and put on underwear.
My phone dings and I reach for it without picking my head up, my arm looking like an octopus tentacle trying to find the nightstand. When I finally grab it, I hurry to turn onto my back, looking at the screen, hoping that maybe it’s Leana asking about the game or saying something about looking forward to our date tomorrow. Tell me she’s thinking about me.
Nope. Not her. But I’m not mad about the text.
Is it weird if I congratulate you on a tie?Vale asks.
How do you know we tied? But no it’s cool. I’ll take it.
Found out the Islander Athletics socials do live updates during games. Found out like definitely just appeared out of nowhere I absolutely did not go searching for that.
I believe you, I send back, letting out a tired laugh.
I ended up refreshing every couple of minutes, making sure I didn’t miss anything. If I’d taken a shot every time I saw “attempt, no goal” I would probably be unconscious right now. And then when y’all started the penalty kicks, my cousin was looking at me all weird every time I yelled after you blocked one. Also, penalty kicks are maybe the sole part of soccer I’m familiar with but never knew the name of until today.
I smile, thinking about Vale at the thrift shop, screaming and jumping behind that counter for me. It’s been a minute since I’ve had friends (besides Kat) coming to my games and getting excited for me and my friends on the team. I miss that. And I like knowing Vale took that time out of his day. For me.
It means a lot. That you kept up with the game. Thank you.
Of course. And I don’t want to keep you. I’m sure you’re tired and/or heading to some after-party. Just wanted to say felicidades and I’ll see you soon. And can’t wait to see you play here next home game.
Yeah, picturing him there, standing with Kat, maybe even Leana if her sorority stuff doesn’t take up all her time; I really like that image.
See you soon. Night Vale.
Night Gabi.
II
It is true that the past presses our life in one direction or the other, but it does not necessarily determine which way to go. At any moment, our will can alter our life’s course, can substitute a new aim, can give it new meaning.Weare to decide. Not our past, not our memory, but our will ourselves.
—Risieri Frondizi
