Page 88 of Falling Fast
‘Because you look like crap, no offence, and you clearly haven’t been home yet.’
I glare at him. I admit the combination of stress, a prolonged hangover and jet lag means I’m not looking my best, but I don’t think I look so bad in my travel outfit of baggy jeans and a grey Henley. ‘Your house is on my way home, so I thought I’d pop in, that’s all. And can’t I look like crap and still want to visit you?’
‘Nice try, but I know you. Something’s wrong.’
‘OK, fine.’ I fling my arms out. ‘Leif and I broke up.’
‘Shit. Sorry.’ His brow furrows. ‘What happened?’
‘I messed up. I couldn’t make up my mind between staying at Rask with him or taking a job with Quezada in Spain, so I kind of … ignored him for two months.’ I wince at how awful it sounds. ‘Then he found out the reason.’ I give a brittle-sounding laugh. ‘And the ironic thing is that I’d just decided to stay with him at Rask.’
‘Really?’ Dan draws his head back. ‘What about your plan?’
‘I changed it.’
‘Ava, that’s brilliant!’ He breaks into a wide smile. ‘You have no idea how much I hated the plan.’
‘Excuse me?’ I’m offended. ‘It was a great plan! It helped me get back on my feet.’
‘I know.’ He raises a hand. ‘Hey, I’m not saying it wasn’t effective. I mean, you’ve gone from A to B to C, doing everything perfectly for the past few years. And maybe it was what you needed at first. It just got a little bit predictable.’
‘Are you calling me boring?’
‘Not youpersonally. Only your approach to life. You know, it’s possible to betooin control.’
‘Well, all I know is that I would have been a lot happier if I’d stuck to being boring and predictable. If I’d kept to the plan, I wouldn’t be looking like crap! Thanks for that, by the way.’
‘Yeah … sorry.’ He scratches his neck. ‘So what are you going to do?’
‘What do you think?’ I drape myself across the counter, resting my cheek on the cold marble surface. ‘There’s nothing Icando except go back to the plan you hate so much. I can’t stay at Rask with Leif now. He broke up with me because I shut him out and he says he can’t trust me any more.’
‘He said what?’ Dan’s expression turns furious. ‘The insensitive asshole! After what you went through, how can he expect –’
‘He doesn’t know,’ I interrupt. ‘I never told him what happened.’
There’s a heavy pause. ‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t talk about it any more.’
‘It kind of sounds like you need to. I know it won’t be easy, but if you want to mend things with Leif, you need to explain why Quezada means so much to you.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Look, Ava …’ He rests his arms across the counter beside mine. ‘You don’t want to end up with regrets. If there had been any chance I could have saved my relationship with Hailey through aconversation, even one that was painful –’ he gives me a meaningful look – ‘I would have taken it in a second.’
‘What if it’s too late?’ I lift my head tentatively off the counter. ‘What if I tell him and he still doesn’t want me?’
‘It’s a risk.’ He nods. ‘But you’re tough. You’ve picked yourself up before – you can do it again. Even a broken heart heals eventually. Just look at me.’ His lips curve ruefully.
‘You know, you’re pretty wise for a big brother.’ I smile back. ‘I promise I didn’t just come here to cry on your shoulder. I really did want to see how you were.’
‘I know. And you can stay as long as you want. If you need company or you don’t want to go home yet, it’s fine.’
‘Thank you.’ I sniff. ‘Do you really think that telling Leif the truth might make a difference?’
‘It’s worth a try. I mean, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. It might be cool to have a Formula 1 driver as a brother-in-law.’
‘You don’t even watch F1.’
