Page 80 of Falling Fast
‘Wait!’ A new thought hits me. ‘If twelve cars are out, that means –’
‘There are only ten left.’ Emika’s eyes connect with mine. ‘So everyone who finishes the race will be in the points.’
‘Which means another double points finish for us.’ Yuto looks around the room. ‘We’re allowed to feel good about that, right? I mean, since it looks like nobody’s injured?’
I don’t answer because the accident is being replayed in slow motion on the screen. The thought that Leif was only a couple of seconds behind makes me feel sick. I have a powerful urge to run to the garage to make sure he’s all right, but he’ll be waiting with his car for the restart. Short of elbowing his mechanics out of the way and smothering his helmet in kisses, there’s no way for me to reach him.
At this point, he probably wouldn’t want me to anyway.
‘What lap was it?’ I ask, pushing that last thought from my mind.
‘Thirty-nine,’ Emika says. ‘So there’ll only be eleven left if they can clear the track in time.’ We all turn to look at the clock. If a race has no stoppage time, the limit is two hours. With stoppages, that extends to four. Right now, we’re only ninety minutes in.
‘So we’re looking at a likely restart. What positions are Leif and Quinn in now?’
‘Leif’s second and Quinn’s seventh.’
‘Leif is second?’ I need a moment to process. If he stays there, he’ll be on the podium again for the first time since Australia.
‘We could get a win if he overtakes Cooper.’ Yuto sounds like he’s trying to restrain his excitement.
‘It’s possible.’ I feel a surge of adrenaline because it really is. Leif is one of the best drivers on the grid, in one of the best cars now too. If he’s in the right frame of mind, he could win the whole GP …
If…
But I daren’t think about that, because I have a horrible feeling I might have messed up his chances already.
‘I CAN’T WATCH.’ EMIKA buries her face in her hands. ‘Tell me when it’s over.’
‘One more lap.’ Yuto clutches my arm. ‘This is so exciting!’
‘I know!’ I clutch him back. After half an hour of clearing up the track, the race restarted with the drivers in the same positions they were in before the accident. Some commentators were expecting a procession, with none of the drivers prepared to take risks for fear of losing guaranteed points, but it’s been the complete opposite. With all the cars on new tyres, the last ten laps have been some of the most exciting in the whole year, more like a sprint race than a Grand Prix.
Cooper is still in the lead, but Leif is relentless. I want him to overtake, but I also don’t want him to do anything reckless. If he were to miss out on a podium at this point, it would be gutting for everyone. Meanwhile, Quinn has overtaken three cars already, putting her in fourth place, and the way she’s driving, a podium finish isn’t out of the question for her either.
There are two corners left. Leif comes up behind Cooper, turns on the inside and then …
‘He’s done it!’ I spring into the air with Yuto as the wholemotorhome seems to shake with the volume of cheers. ‘He’s overtaken Cooper!’
‘Leif?’ Emika peers out from between her fingers.
‘Yes!’
‘No way!’ She wraps her arms around us so that we’re all jumping up and down together when he passes the chequered flag, closely followed by Cooper and then …
‘Quinn!’ Emika’s screech is so loud it’s amazing the screen doesn’t shatter.
‘First and third!’ Yuto throws his head back and gives a loud whoop.
I want to stay.
The thought pops into my head with such clarity that I know it’s the truth. I want to stay with Rask, with this team, these people, this family. My life isn’t going to fall apart if I revise my plan. It’s got me this far, but now all it’s doing is holding me back, trapping me in a past I’ve finally outgrown because I’m not the person I was when I first set my mind on Quezada. I’m happier and stronger, someone who ought to be free to change her mind if she wants to. And I won’t be doing it for a man, but for me, because Rask is where I can have a career and friendship and fun, as well as love too.
My eyes well with tears as I watch Leif pull into parc fermé. Everything is so clear now. I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders and I can finally stand tall, look up and see the world properly again. I’m in love with him. I refused to let myself acknowledge it before, but I am. So now it’s time to set my old plan aside and make a new one. One where I stay with Rask and Leif, and we get a ton more podiums and become the best damn team in Formula 1. Together.
‘Go!’ I push Yuto and Emika towards the door because if I keep hugging them any longer I’m going to erupt into sobs. ‘Go and congratulate them. I need to post about this, but I’ll celebrate with you later. Just remember to send me some shots from the podium!’
I sit down the moment they’re gone, wiping my hands across my cheeks as Leif gets out of his car, hugs Quinn and then flings himself against the barrier and into the arms of his mechanics. I wonder if he’s looking for me among them. I wish I could go out there and join in, but I can’t, not yet. I know I have a lot of explaining to do and I don’t want an audience.
