Page 49 of Falling Fast
‘How long was it?’ I tap my finger against my chin. ‘Three months?’
‘Again,notmy decision. And you were the very first person I told in the end.’
‘OK fine, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Gio included.’
‘I promise. Wait! That must mean it reallyissomebody important.’ She inhales sharply. ‘It’s a driver, isn’t it? Corey? No way! Although he is pretty gorgeous. And funny. And his accent …’
‘It’s not Corey.’ I give her a meaningful look.
‘Not … Leif?’ Her jaw drops. ‘I thought you said he hated you?’
‘I thought he did.’ I lift my shoulders. ‘Only it turns out … he doesn’t.’
‘No way! This is perfect!’ Maisie breaks into a huge smile. ‘We’ll both be dating drivers.’
‘Slow down.’ I push my door open, gripped by a sudden urge to escape. ‘We haven’t even been on a date yet. It was only a kiss.’
‘You kissed?’ Maisie leaps out of her side. ‘What happened? Tell me everything. Who initiated it?’
‘It was kind of … both of us.’ I feel a tug in my chest at the memory. ‘Although technically, I guess I kissed him first.’
‘Love it! And?’
‘And … it wasreallygood,’ I admit. ‘But don’t get carried away. It probably won’t come to anything.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s complicated,’ I say, drawing my brows together. No matter how good our kiss was, I still don’t know if us being together would be a smart idea.
‘Ava.’ She gives me a serious look as she starts to unhook her bike from the rack on my boot. ‘I know things didn’t work out with Oliver, but that doesn’t mean you should never try again.’
I smile tightly. She sounds just like my brother. I wish I could tell her the truth, about why the very concept of dating, of opening myself up to somebody, is so difficult for me to get my head around, but I work too hard atnotthinking about the past to let those barriers down easily. I’ve almost told her what happened several times, but somehow I’ve never found the right words, and today is definitelynotthe day for it, not when she has a big event. I don’t want to ruin her frame of mind – or mine, for that matter.
‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘But it could make things weird in the team. I have my professional reputation to think about. And what if …’ I stop because I don’t like what I’m about to say.
‘What if what?’ She heaves her bike to the ground.
I fold my arms defensively. ‘What if Jasper Ramirez were to find out? F1 is a small world. He might disapprove and refuse to interview me in December.’
‘I guess …’ She grips her handlebars. ‘But maybe it’s time you stopped letting Quezada dictate all your life choices?’
‘I don’t let them dictateallmy choices,’ I answer indignantly. ‘In fact, since I’ve been at Rask, I’ve barely had a chance to think about them. I just have a plan and I don’t want to jeopardize it.’ I grab our bags off the back seat and slam the door. ‘Especially because of a man.’
‘Then maybe it’s your turn to keep a secret. Don’t tell anyone you and Leif are dating. Trust me, keeping a low profile can be a good thing. I learned that the hard way.’
I decide not to mention my contract. Perhaps she’s right, and Leif and Icoulddate in secret. I don’t like the idea of going behind Vienna’s back, but until I know whether this thing between us is serious or not, it might be the only solution. I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to convince him. He’s so private he might even be relieved. And it’s not likehe’dget into trouble if we were caught. He’s too important to the team. As for me … I don’t know whether a secret relationship would constitute gross misconduct, so we’d have to be careful, but I’d rather take the risk than ruin my chances of a future with Quezada. Only there’s one more question nagging at the back of my mind.
‘Do you think I should tellhimabout my interview in December?’ I blurt out.
‘You could. Or you could just relax and go on a date first.’ Maisie wheels her bike in the direction of the registration tent. ‘See how things go before you start worrying about the future.’
‘But what if we get along really well and it turns into a relationship and then I get the job at Quezada?’ My thoughts are spiralling. ‘We’d end up working for rival teams.’
‘So?’
‘So we’d have conflicting loyalties! I don’t know if that could work.’
‘No offence, but now it sounds like you’re looking for obstacles. Anyway, isn’t there a chance Leif will be switching teams too?’ Maisie sounds thoughtful. ‘Gio says he hasn’t signed another contract with Rask yet, and there’s been somuch buzz about the driver market recently. His name has been linked to lots of different teams.’
