Page 100 of Runner 13
‘How many times did he mention me then?’
Never. He never mentioned a son. ‘Well, we didn’t talk much about our personal lives. He was focused on the training …’
‘And other things,’ mutters Mariam.
I glance at Mariam. I catch the edge in her tone. Seems like Matt does too.
Matt jumps on it. ‘That.That. People worshipped my dad. But then you came out and accused him –’ He points at me. ‘But he didn’t assault you, did he?’
I don’t know where to look, what to say. It feels like I’ve got my foot on a trigger point and that if I say the wrong thing, it all has the potential to explode. But I’m done with lying. ‘No, he didn’t.’
The air is completely still. ‘In fact, he dropped you from his team. So why lie? To get back at him?’
I shake my head. Behind my eyes, I can still hear the sound of her scream. See her distraught face. Feel her tears on my cheek. ‘He didn’t assaultme. But he was not innocent,’ I say.
‘Then tell me: what really happened out there? I’ve come all this way, run this hard, just to find out. I have to know the truth.’ His voice drops to a whisper. ‘I have to.’
I think back to that night. Yasmin ended her life because of what happened. My heart is broken all over again. I look into Matt’s eyes and I can see that he is searching for answers. I know that feeling.
I take a deep breath. I’ve never told the whole story. But Matt needs to know who his father was.
‘Glenn had been my coach for two years. I’d known about him for a long time – he was local to me. You couldn’t be a runner in Yorkshire andnotknow about the Knight Academy, and we’d often train on the same fells. When he asked me to join his roster, it felt like the invitation of a lifetime. And honestly, I trusted him completely. He honed my natural running style and made me a champion. Racing goals I’d thought were out of reach, suddenly became possible. I was standing on more podiums, breaking more records, feeling fitter and stronger than ever. He organized my whole life – my training schedule, my sleep, my nutrition. He even made his own special blends of recovery formula.’
‘I remember that! He wanted to market them.’
Mariam shudders.
I catch her eye. She knows. How? But that’s a question for later.
‘Other runners were begging to join him, but he was so selective. Exclusive even. In the winter he’d station himself at this gorgeous luxury sports hotel in Ibiza and run a training camp. Yetthatone – the one where it all went wrong – was special. My week there was meant to elevate me to the next level. My goal was the course record of the Yorkshire 100, but Glenn was hyper focused on getting a female runner to win an Ampersand race. It was like the missing trophy on his cabinet. There were five of us – all women – all training with that goal.’ I swallow. ‘One of the runners was Yasmin El Mehdi. She was nineteen, driven, strong, just absolutely loved running – bursting with raw talent. Her strength was her determination. Nothing could put her off. I noticedGlenn’s extra attention on her, but I didn’t think much about it. I didn’t think he would act inappropriately. His whole professional reputation was at stake.
‘But towards the end of the camp, I knew I wasn’t interested in an Ampersand race. He got so angry. I’d never seen him like that before. Told me I’d wasted his time. Called me useless, talentless, nothing without him … So you’re right: Glenn dropped me – and he was mean about it. But weirdly, I didn’t blame him. In his eyes I was quitting and he didn’t coach quitters. I was wracked with guilt and shame, begged him to let me stay on. But he refused.
‘Then he turned his attention to Yasmin. She was his new golden girl. He’d asked her to stay for private coaching. Everyone else left. Even her sister. I had a bad feeling. Maybe part of me knew something was wrong with him, but I’d never had the guts to admit it to myself. I got to the airport but I couldn’t do it. I turned round, went back to the hotel and got my old room back. I stayed out of Glenn’s way. I didn’t want him to know I was still on the island.
‘I spent the whole of the next day berating myself for being paranoid. But the next night, I heard a scream from the room next to mine. I was frantic. At first I thought I’d imagined it. I opened my door, listening. I didn’t hear anything more, but I couldn’t let it go. I banged on her door until she answered.
‘As soon as I saw her, I knew. I wanted to confront Glenn right then and there. But she begged me not to. I told her we should go to the hospital. She didn’t want that either. All she wanted was someone to hear her. To listen. She told me what happened: how Glenn had comein in the middle of the night – their rooms had connecting doors. He thought she was passed out – it turns out, he’d been drugging her with his recovery formula. But it had made her feel so nauseous that she hadn’t taken it that night. But he raped her anyway.’
I close my eyes, reliving that moment. My body is shaking. ‘I wanted to call the police. But she refused. Glenn had threatened her – and taken the spiked bottles with him when he left. I told her thatshewas the evidence, but she didn’t want that. She was so afraid. So ashamed. No matter what I said, how I assured her she wouldn’t be alone, she refused. All she wanted to do was go home.
‘Maybe I could have done more; I could have taken her to the police myself. But she’d already lost so much control. I couldn’t take more from her. She just wanted to forget it all and get away. I helped her sort a flight and made sure she got to the airport. By the time I came back, Glenn had gone. He’d checked out in the middle of the night, probably once he heard me go into Yasmin’s room.’ I sigh.
A curtain had fallen from in front of my eyes that night, and on the other side of it was the truth of who Glenn really was. And I had this awful feeling it wasn’t the first time. Other runners had confided in me in the past about nausea, sickness, even weird blackouts in the mornings and pain where there shouldn’t be pain. Glenn had attributed it to their female bodies reacting to the extreme, super-intense training he’d put them through, using their own biology against them. Later those women would be dropped from Glenn’s roster. He would denigrate them, claiming they didn’t have what it takes. But I began to seethings differently. Now the wall was down, I realized what had been happening was something far more sinister.
Of course I understood why Yasmin felt she couldn’t come forward. The power imbalance between her and Glenn … she was too afraid. But the mother inside me had stretched up and roared. I could see the future laid out in front of me – Glenn continuing his camps and assaulting more women. More athletes’ lives ruined. I allowed the rage to take hold and got ready to burn everything I’d worked to build. I’d had enough of staying quiet about the things women had to endure just to be in the same space as men. So, like Ethan on the sidelines shouting his outrage at the umpire for a bad call, I did the only thing I felt I could – something so impulsive and stupid and yet, in the moment, so right.
I look up at Matt. ‘I couldn’t let him get away with it. So I went to the police and I said he’d attacked me. They found him at the ferry port and detained him. I posted on social media to warn other women in his sphere or maybe allow his previous victims to know they weren’t alone –’
There’s a crash from above us as the wind takes a chunk of the roof and sends it flying into the abyss. I dive over Mariam, sheltering her from the debris. It takes a while for the gust to subside, while Mariam clutches at my arms. She’s still shuddering in pain.Where is the damn medical help?I want to scream.
‘I know why you did it,’ she whispers into my ear. ‘But without any proof your effort was just wasted.’
‘I wanted him to pay,’ I say, my voice choking. ‘She came to the camp because of me.’
‘You couldn’t have known what he was doing.’
When it settles, I sit back again.
