‘Oh yes, I put onCannibal Drill Killers,’ said Carmen, stung. ‘It’s the Muppets! The Muppets aren’t scary!’
Instantly Phoebe burst into tears again, getting louder, and Jack and Pippa started immediately shouting that yes in fact they were VERY, VERY SCARY, and Phoebe carried on moaning and crying and gulping for breath. Blair was standing there, looking as if he didn’t know what on earth to do with himself, as indeed he did not.
‘For goodness’ sake,’ said Sofia. ‘I asked you if it was suitable and you said it was animals.’
‘Puppet animals!’ said Carmen. As a group, they tried to head through into the TV room to see, impeded by Phoebe who, whimpering, grabbed their hands and refused to let them through. Jack eventually pushed open the doorway into the dark room, where Pippa had freeze-framed the screen onto a huge hooded ghostly figure holding out a skeletal finger. In the dark room, on the ridiculously gigantic six-foot screen, it looked incredibly frightening. Phoebe immediately let out a piercing scream again and Sofia shouted, ‘Switch it off, Jack!’ but he gave her a horrified look and mutely shook his head. Pippa was trembling but said in a wobbly voice, ‘I’ll do it, Mummy.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ said Carmen, uncurling Phoebe’s fingers and entering the dark room to switch it off, furious at how embarrassed she was at the commotion. ‘It’sA Christmas Carol. It’s great literature.’
‘That’s an adult book,’ said Sofia disapprovingly.
‘NOT! WHEN! THERE! ARE! MUPPETS! IN! IT!’
She struggled to find the right button on the remote, mistakenly turning on a crashing movie channel which had the Rock blowing something up which was absurdly loud through their super-expensive sound system and provoked another scream from Phoebe.
‘Oh, forGod’ssake,’ she hissed to herself, stabbing at the remote.
‘I could come back,’ lied Blair, whose evening had taken a slightly more domestic turn than he’d planned.
At that moment, the door shot open, and looking lithe and blonde and completely unfazed, Skylar entered, beaming.
‘Skylar!’ said Pippa. ‘Skylar! Phoebe got scared at a monster on the television.’
‘Oh, dear me,’ said Skylar.
And she entered the little sitting room, took the remote from Carmen, turned off the TV and switched on the little lamps, making the room cosy and warm, then turned around and beamed at everyone. Carmen saw there were still snowflakes resting on her hair.
‘Oh, don’t worry, everyone, I’ll fix it?’
And then she caught sight of Blair and was struck dumb. Carmen, standing to the side, felt dumpy and square and completely invisible next to the pink-cheeked fresh sheer youthfulness of Skylar.
‘Hello!’
‘Well, hello,’ said Blair, going full teeth.
‘I’m Skylar!’
‘What a lovely name.’
‘Sorry, are you Blair Pfenning? I’ve read all your books! I really, really lovedFind Your Love Light and Let It Shine.’
Slightly irritated with herself, Carmen remembered she had meant to take a look at at least one of Blair’s books at the shop but had been utterly engrossed inA Christmas Murderinstead and hadn’t got around to it, apart from looking at his jacket photograph of course.
‘Did it help you?’ said Blair in his special soothing voice. Meanwhile, Phoebe was still pointing at the now-off television in horror.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Carmen, crouching down. ‘There is a scary ghost thing.’
‘AND! TINY TIM IS DEAD!’ came a cross voice behind them. Pippa was folding her arms, still not happy.
‘He’s not dead.’
‘There’s an empty chair and the pig is crying!’
‘Also why are some of them frogs and some of them pigs?’ said Jack earnestly. ‘Is that what happens if your mother is a pig and your father is a frog?’
‘Yes,’ said Carmen wearily. ‘All the girls will be pigs and all the boys will be frogs.’
‘Come, let’s get you a drink,’ said Skylar to Blair. ‘Ooh, you brought Champagne! So naughty drinking on a school night.’
