She marched home, where Sofia was chatting to Federico over the phone. Everything, as usual, was clean and tidy and warm and perfect, and it put Carmen in a worse mood than ever. The children had dispersed.
‘Hey,’ said Sofia, after she had finished her conversation with Federico. ‘Don’t make me get up off the sofa. How was Blair’s book—?’
Carmen dissolved into tears.
‘Oh God, that bad?’ said Sofia, struggling to sit up. Carmen explained everything.
‘Oh God,’ said Sofia. ‘So hang on – you don’t even like Blair and it sounds like he’s been a total a-hole, so why do you care if Skylar’s dating him?’
Carmen shrugged. ‘Because I … ’ She sniffed and looked around at the gorgeous kitchen. ‘I just wanted something cool. Something … impressive. I mean, you have everything and I just … ’
‘What, you would date an a-hole because I have a nice kitchen?’
Carmen shrugged.
‘It’s everyone. Skylar’s getting some stupid degree in fricking water. You’re super-successful. Idra’s going skiing!’
Sofia didn’t quite understand the significance of this last piece of information, but wisely kept her mouth closed.
‘I thought maybe a cool rich boyfriend … would make me feel I was going places. Instead of stuck. In my sister’s basement. In a temp job.’
Sofia bristled a bit. Then she made a terrible mistake. She was trying to explain why Blair would have been a bad match for Carmen, and then her plan was to follow that up with how brilliantly she’d done in the shop and how it looked like they’d be able to put the business on the market in the new year, provide a nice retirement for Mr McCredie and how that was amazing, and she’d have loads for her CV now.
Unfortunately, she never got that far.
‘Oh, let Skylar have that stupid Blair,’ she began. ‘She’s much more … ’
She regretted it instantly.
‘Much more what?’ said Carmen furiously, standing up. ‘Pretty? Better than me?’
‘No!That’s not what I meant at all. Just that stupid blonde look, you know.’
‘You just meant she’s better-looking than me?’
‘Oh Carmen! How can I get out of this conversation?’
‘By saying the truth: you never believed for a second that someone good-looking and famous could possibly like me in a million years.’ Carmen was so upset. ‘You just assume I would try and take him off Skylar; never that she would try and take him off me, even though that was totally what she did.’
Sofia squeezed her eyes shut.
‘I don’t like her,’ went on Carmen. ‘She’s mean.’
‘She’s not mean! She’s very … useful. She’s good for me. She’s good for the children. Gives them good ways of living their lives.’
‘Instead of what I do, you mean?’
Sofia lost her rag, which she did very rarely. Carmen was stunned into silence.
‘That’s not what I said! God, Carmen. You insist on taking every single phrase out of my mouth and wringing it for theworst possibleangle. You’re like judge, jury and executioner of me. And Mum. It’s like we can never say a single word that isn’t secretly dissing Carmen because that’s literally all we have on our minds, every hour of the day and night. Carmen Carmen Carmen. Everyone be careful. Don’t upset Carmen because she doesn’t have a job! Don’t upset Carmen because she doesn’t have a boyfriend! IswearMum didn’t want me to have another baby because you don’t have one yet.’
‘She would never say that.’
‘She basically implied it.’
‘Well, how come? How come you geteverything?’ said Carmen, stung.
‘What don’t you have?’ said Sofia. ‘You’re young, you’re fun, everyone likes hanging out with you. You’re creative – look what you’ve done in the shop. You’ve got famous guys chatting to you, you’ve got some lanky student hanging around. And yet you act like the world is so unfair just because you couldn’t be arsed to pass any exams at school and frankly it getsvery boring, okay? Here’s the answer. I work my arse off. Federico works his arse off. I am exhaustedall the time. I need Skylar, despite you being jealous of her, because she also works her arse off being a student and a nanny and frankly I need that for the children so they don’t end up … ’
