Page 30 of Mateo & Nicole
Mateo’s smile spread wider.
But the best thing that had come from today was that she’d let her guard down enough to call him Mateo again. It probably wouldn’t last. She’d call him Mr. Palmer when she wasn’t so emotionally drained. That was a given. But until she corrected herself, he wasn’t against pretending that he’d gotten one step closer to having something more with this woman.
His chest expanded with a long, slow breath before he blew it out. There was only one problem he could see right now.
Clearly, he was interested, but she was not.
And pushing her to admit feelings she may or may not have would be wrong on so many levels—especially seeing as he was her boss. Shoot! Why did he have to hire her?
He sighed again and rolled over to his side. His feelings had only grown today. He couldn’t sleep because he was obsessing over every little battle he’d won. He wanted Nikki more than he wanted anyone in his life—maybe even more than he’d wanted Caroline.
Okay, definitely more.
The man who had loved that wretch of a woman had been blinded by that “first love” haze. He’d been in love with the idea of being with a woman—of having her all for himself. It was a childish, immature sort of desire.
With Nikki, things were different. He could feel it in the marrow of his bones. She was special. She was more than he could have dreamed of having. Part of him had already claimed her as his own, and yet he was nowhere near having her love.
When he’d held her in his arms—to comfort her—he’d gotten a taste. He’d realized what life could be like if she were to give herself over to him and he could be the man she ran to when she needed something or wanted to share in her joy.
His arms felt empty now, and the cravings for more were already getting stronger.
Mateo frowned and forced his eyes to shut. If he didn’t get some sleep, he was going to be in a mood tomorrow. It didn’t matter if, overall, today was a win. Nikki still didn’t belong to him, and something told him he had a long road ahead of him before he got close to getting everything he could have ever wanted.
* * *
Daniel’s chucklegrated against Mateo’s nerves. It was low, and no one in the immediate area could hear him. No one but Mateo. “You look like?—”
“Don’t even say it.” He knew he looked like death warmed over. Several restless nights later and he was no closer to getting Nikki on board with something more. He’d said it in his head a thousand times by now—finding different ways to ask her out. And every time he thought he’d figured it out, he second-guessed himself.
He could already tell that Nikki wasn’t ready for something—that, or she simply wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship withhim. He’d never admit to how much that idea terrified him. Nikki could be purposefully keeping him at arm’s length because of what he’d confessed to her that day Paxton got hurt.
“It’s her, isn’t it?”
Mateo’s head snapped around so fast that he grimaced when pain rattled down his spine. “What?”
Daniel jerked his chin toward the front of the cafeteria area where Nikki brought out a fresh batch of rolls. “She’s nice, I’ll give you that. And she’s one heck of a cook.” He turned his smirk on Mateo. “I could see the two of you together, if I’m honest.”
Mateo’s focus lingered on Nikki for a long while—so long that when she glanced in his direction, she caught him staring. Just as quickly as their eyes locked, they darted away. He couldn’t tell from here, but he got the sense she blushed. But that was probably wishful thinking.
Nikki was still keeping her distance. Their conversations had all been too short. The only thing she’d offered him lately was the occasional lingering look and the short, curt conversation.
Paxton, on the other hand, had no such qualms about talking to him. Everywhere Mateo turned, the kid was on his heels, asking about horses and dogs and how big his ranch was or what it was like to be a real cowboy.
Mateo dragged a hand down his face. “It’s not her.”
“Bull pucky.” Daniel snorted. “You forget that I’ve been around you before she showed up. There’s something going on between you two.”
Heat swirled in Mateo’s stomach—an uncomfortable irritation that stemmed from a combination of frustration over not getting through to her and not sleeping well enough. “If something were going on between the two of us,” he muttered through gritted teeth, “you’d see it on her end, too.”
His friend chuckled, and they stepped back to get out of the path of one of the wranglers on his way toward the food. Daniel had his arms folded, but his stance was relaxed. It wouldn’t take much effort at all to tackle him to the ground and demand he stop making comments about Nikki. It wasn’t the talking about Nikki that was the problem. It was the teasing, the jesting that the two of them actually had a chance—when Mateo couldn’t see past the wall she’d built around herself based on the sole fact he was her employer.
Daniel stared at him with one brow arched, the smirk fading somewhat. “What’s the problem? If you like her, do something about it. You have to make a decision at some point. Either she’s worth the chaos, or she’s not.”
She was definitely worth it.
Nikki was worth the biggest storm, the hardest of winds; she was worth more than Mateo would ever vocally admit to Daniel. But the risks continued to hold him back. In a way, he’d been shut down by Caroline, and he wasn’t sure his heart would be able to handle getting broken again.
That was the point of Daniel’s comment, though, wasn’t it? Was Nikki worth the possibility of getting his heart broken? There was only one answer that came to his mind.
