The past few weeks had been as good as I could have ever wished for. I couldn’t believe how well telling Iain had gone, and I was relieved at how easily he’d included me in his life. And when he’d called me “Daddy” for the first time, it was another Cupid-style arrow right to my heart. I’d had to blink back the tears. Sure, I knew he was using it to his advantage, but it was all I could do not to cave in and get him a pup right then and there. Only Emalee’s stink eye had made me realize that I was sure to become a pushover.
Em and I did our best to keep everything light and simple, and in a way that only a child can manage, he accepted the news with ease. Most evenings, Em included me for dinner. Just like she used to, she preferred to cook, but sometimes, she agreed to let me take them out so she could have a break.
I soaked up every minute I could with Iain. While Em made dinner, I supervised his homework. After dinner and bath time, I would play a game or build something with him while his mom finished their personal chores or organized whatever she was tackling. I teased her about her many color-coded lists, but she would just scrunch up her nose at me and pull out another colored pen.
After Iain was in bed, she’d put away all of her “to do” items and we watched television for a bit, usually HGTV. I wasn’t all that interested, but watching her praise or critique a design, cheer on a competitor, and scoff at another was entertaining as hell; it was like watching a parent coach from the sidelines.
Best of all, whether or not she realized it, she wasn’t keeping the distance between us when we sat together. She would lean into me as she pointed out something she liked and asked my opinion about it. I used those moments to put my arm around her and hold her loosely until it became her usual place on the couch now. And when I left in the evening, I heard the slight hitch in her breathing each time I kissed her cheek good night. I wanted her so badly, but I kept reminding myself it was about baby steps, or in this case, Emalee-sized steps, which might be even smaller and more hesitant.
I enjoyed Iain so much; it made me wonder why my parents even had a kid. There never seemed to be any enjoyment for them, just a bragging right whenever I accomplished something big. And those times when I didn’t? I was told—not encouraged—how to do better next time so I didn’t disappoint them. I knew my dad was annoying about accomplishments, but it wasn’t until I spent time with my own son that I realized just how cold and selfish he was.
“I saw Wanda yesterday.” Raelyn’s comment one morning sounded casual enough, but when I was around, there was a common theme woven into her conversations. “She said Harold is doing much better. Getting stronger every day.”
Her comment startled me from where I was reading an article about a new drug to treat animals with arthritis. I had started eating breakfast at their family table in the kitchen on my way to work. I hadn’t asked if it was okay, but no one had kicked me out, not even Emalee’s mom. That didn’t mean I missed how Raelyn’s mouth tightened every time I entered the room. She never said a word, but I didn’t miss the concern in her eyes. I didn’t care. I’d face down a pack of wild mountain lions to spend the extra time with my son. And Emalee.
“That’s wonderful,” Emalee answered as she packed a lunch for Iain, who was happily slurping up a bowl of cereal.
I stared at her, wondering if she was really listening and thinking about what it meant. Sure, that was good if you’re him. But for us, it suddenly set the countdown timer in motion.
“She thinks he should be ready to come home from the rehab center soon.” She flashed a glance my way before refocusing on her daughter. “Of course, he’ll still have a lot of physical therapy to do here.”
“I’m sure he’ll be glad to get home.”
That’s what I once thought, too. Now I had to get Emalee to consider making my home hers as well.
I glanced at my watch and looked across the table at Iain. “You about ready, bud?”
Both Iain and Raelyn frowned—Iain because he didn’t want to go to school and Raelyn probably because her daughter had taken away her duty of dropping Iain off at school and given it to me so I could have those few extra moments each morning with him. I sensed Raelyn’s concern came from a good place. She most likely saw me as the interloper who would either leave her daughter with another broken heart or who would take both her daughter and grandson away from Sterling Mill. I knew she thought Em and I were sticking our heads in the sand, ignoring the time bomb that awaited us once Harold Claypool was fit enough to return to work.
Iain groaned and took a last bite of cereal before tilting the bowl to his mouth to chug the leftover milk. The bowl clattered to the table as he wiped his hand across his milk mustache.
“Iain, how many times do I have to remind you to use your napkin?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a couple more times?”
I quickly grabbed my napkin to cover the smile. My boy was quick with an answer. Raelyn softly coughed into her hand, not quite covering up her own grin. I winked at her.
Emalee just groaned. “Finish getting ready, please.”
The only time I saw Iain move slowly was during the transition from breakfast to leaving for school. He made a big deal of rinsing out his bowl before finding just the right spot in the dishwasher. Then he dragged his feet toward the door that opened to the passageway that led to their side of the bed-and-breakfast.
I’d learned the hard way to set a timer, otherwise, he’d be late for school. “Time’s ticking, kiddo.” I tapped my phone, earning the infamous eye roll. In my weird way, I loved it. It made me feel more like a dad than a playmate.
“What are your plans for today?” Raelyn asked me from across the table.
“Actually,” I replied, catching Emalee’s eye, “I was hoping you’d help me with an idea after work.”
“Oh? What idea?”
“I’d like to get some things for my place for Iain. I thought maybe he could spend some time there once in a while and would like your input.”
Her hands froze on the pan she was drying. I knew I’d caught her off guard. We hadn’t talked about it yet, but it seemed logical. I wanted them to both feel welcome, to see what it would be like to be a family. But in the event the worst happened, and I had to move back to Charlotte without Emalee, I didn’t want Iain’s first time visiting me to feel odd.
“Are you sure that’s necessary?” Raelyn pushed. Em’s face remained blank, but her posture straightened, and I knew she was paying attention.
“In the current arrangement, I’m always the visitor. I’d like Iain to feel at home with me. But to do that, he needs to come to my place occasionally.” I stared at Emalee’s back, willing her to turn around and see I wasn’t trying to take Iain from her but to work on building our family. It was hard to do that under Raelyn’s ever-watchful eye.
Em put the pan on the stove and wiped her hands on her jeans. But she wouldn’t look at me. “I…I guess that’s logical.” She paused a moment and took a deep breath. “I need to check on everyone.” She rushed through the push door without glancing back.
