“He still could have been lying,” I say with a shrug. “The T might have been for Tatiana. Maybe Tiffany was just a convenient excuse.”
“Hey. Stop trying to put doubt in my girlfriend’s mind,” Ryan says. I notice how they both flinch slightly at the word “girlfriend,” like they’re both dying for the proposal to happen already so they can use the word they want to use—fiancé—and then eventually husband and wife.
It’s funny to me how everyone on this mountaintop knows about the proposal in some form or another, and yet all four of us have to pretend like we don’t know a thing.
“At least you haven’t noticed Oliver’s initial yet,” Tina says.
“What? Oliver’s on here too?” I look back down at the bench. For some reason I don’t like the idea of Oliver’s initial on here with some other girl. It’s not like I’ve never seen him with a girlfriend, so I can’t explain why his initial with someone else’s would make me jealous. Maybe it’s the permanence of putting his initials on an old bench built by his best friend’s grandfather at the top of a treacherous three-mile trail.
I stand up, looking closer at the part of the bench where I was sitting, and then I spot it: a single O, not followed by a plus sign or a heart or any other initial.
I snort. I look at Oliver, still sitting on the bench. “Just an O?”
“I was seventeen,” he says with a smirk. “I hadn’t met the right girl yet.” He kicks my foot lightly.
“You’re right,” I say, nodding. “You have to be really careful about whose initials you choose to put next to yours. You don’t want to end up like Ryan and Tatiana.”
Oliver and I both laugh, but Tina and Ryan don’t look amused.
“Are we ready to head back yet?” Tina asks. “I’m starving.”
I sigh. “I guess so.” I look back at the trail where we came from. I’m not looking forward to doing all of that again.
“It’s easier going downhill,” Oliver reminds me.
“True.”
About ten paces onto the trail, Oliver stops. “I left my water up by the bench. I’ll catch up with you guys.” He turns around and takes off in a jog. Tina and Ryan keep going, but I slow down for him even though he’s in shape and should have no trouble catching up with me at a normal speed. He comes back to me a minute later and takes my hand. When his palm meets mine, I feel this odd warmth rise up through my arm that floods into the rest of my body. It feels… right. I feel relaxed.
The way back is easier and seems much shorter. Maybe Tina is onto something with her weird trail math. When we get to the steep part that I had so much trouble with earlier, Oliver stops me.
“Get on my back,” he says. He bends down, turning his back to me. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and lean into him. Even through our clothes, being this close to him with my chest against his back sparks this need I have inside me to touch him. He grabs onto my legs to steady me, then stands up straight and gives me a piggyback ride down the hill.
He carries me so effortlessly that I feel like I’m weightless. I don’t want to let go of him even when we reach the bottom. He bends down again so that I can slide off. It takes every little bit of willpower I have to separate my body from his. When my feet hit the ground, the only thing that saves me from this strange feeling of loss is when he takes my hand again before we continue on.
I look up at him. I want to know that we’re not only putting on a show for our friends. I want to hear him tell me that when he kisses me or even just holds my hand it’s because he wants to. Because he wantsme.I let myself pretend that it’s just us walking through these beautiful woods.
It’s just us heading back to the cabin to spend the weekend alone together. There’s no other reason we’re here. The thought of going back alone with him, into the cabin and up those stairs and into that bedroom with the king size bed where he could throw me around… I stumble at this last thought. A rush of warmth floods over my body. I feel this pull, this desire that comes over me and settles between my legs. It feels like Oliver’s body is a need and his hand holding mine is just an aching reminder of how much more I’m missing out on.
I don’t remember when the cabin comes into view, but then we’re walking up the porch and through the front door. Tina says she’ll start cooking dinner. Someone left a supply of fresh groceries in the fridge and in the pantry. Ryan’s mom probably paid someone to deliver them before we got here. I’m too worked up to ask any questions. I need some time alone.
“I’m going to take a shower.” I head for the stairs.
“I’ll join you,” Oliver says.
I almost trip over the first step. “What? Um. I mean.” I steal a glance at Tina. She watches me with a raised brow. I realize this is a totally normal thing for a boyfriend to say to a girlfriend, and since that’s what we’re pretending to be, I need to act like I’m not surprised. I smile. “Yeah. Come on.”
Oliver follows me upstairs. When we get into the bedroom, I turn toward him. “I really am going to take a shower,” I tell him. “You didn’t have to follow me in here.”
He shrugs. “I need some time away from those two.”
“You’re just going to hang out in here while I’m in the bathroom?” I ask.
“Unless you want me in there with you.” He watches me, his gaze unwavering. A small smile creeps up at the side of his mouth.
It’s a dangerous suggestion because I know that he’s joking but everything in me wants to say yes and invite him in. I can’t bear the thought that he might turn me down. I laugh it off instead. “Taking a shower together would certainly make this fake relationship more believable.”
“They already think that’s what we’re doing,” he says with a shrug.
