Page 68 of One Cornish Summer With You
She raised her eyebrows. ‘You don’t strike me as the kind of person who enjoys living in a dump. Bet it’s sparkling clean with not a thing out of place.’
‘It’s as tidy as I can make it, I’ll admit, otherwise I’d lose all my work stuff under the clutter and that wouldn’t help.’
‘If it really bothers you, then we can stay here,’ she said, the feeling of dread spreading through her like poison.
‘It doesn’t bother me. It’s only that your flat is so much nicer.’
‘OK.’
The lights popped on in cottages and restaurants alongthe harbour, which was still busy with holidaymakers drinking as dusk fell slowly.
Ruan walked with her back to the studio, his arm around her back. They paused outside and Tammy looked up at the windows. Davey’s light was on.
She knew she should invite Ruan up, but she felt light-headed and stumbled.
Ruan steadied her. ‘Whoa. Are you OK?’
‘Yeah. No.’ She felt as if she might be sick. ‘Do you mind if you don’t stay? I have a migraine coming on.’
‘Oh no. I get them occasionally after I’ve been staring at the screen too long. They’re horrible. Can I do anything to help?’
‘No. Apart from leave me to lie down in a darkened room.’
‘Let me help you up to the flat. I’ll stay with you.’
‘No,’ Tammy exclaimed, which made her temples throb. ‘No, please. I will be OK. I’ll take some tablets and go to bed to sleep it off. Don’t stay to watch me sleep. There’s no point …’ All she wanted was to be alone.
‘If you really want me to leave, I will, but I don’t like it.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you in the morning. Promise.’ She kissed him goodbye lightly before walking away, feeling his reluctance at leaving her alone.
Tammy stood in the window, watching him go, feeling genuinely nauseous and with a headache coming on. Not a migraine, however, thank goodness; this ache was induced by stress and tension and the need to know if Sean had been telling the truth – and what Ruan was keeping from her.
She took two paracetamol and washed them down withwater; then she lay on the sofa, waiting for the pills to work. She’d had one proper drink at the start of the evening and then held off on any more booze because she’d been so consumed with the thought of Ruan and what he might be hiding.
She got up cautiously, sipped some Coke and stood by the window, looking out over the harbour to the sea. Her head wasn’t throbbing any longer.
She snatched up her car keys and headed out of the flat.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Ruan set off for home: a word that was loaded with toxic associations now he knew the truth. He was so reluctant to see it again that he convinced himself he needed some milk from the late-night supermarket in Penzance, although it was miles out of his way.
Even then, he dawdled, taking a back route through the lanes, under a sky of indigo blue.
Until he’d found out that the house was once Tammy’s, he’d never ceased to love the route along lanes bordered by high, banked Cornish hedges, even though he’d scraped the Audi several times on them while squeezing in to let another vehicle pass. Even though he’d been stuck behind tractors or tourists who’d blindly followed their satnavs down roads that were clearly no more than tracks. He’d even perfected his reversing skills and knew every passing place and farm gate on the way.
He’d loved the fact that his commute included an ancient stone circle and Celtic crosses, lush valleys filled with wildflowers and the sea shimmering when he emerged on to the high farmland. He’d loved turning off the road, knowing only the owner of Seaspray had any right to use it. He’d even loved negotiating the Audi over the ruts and throughthe mud, as it contrasted with the city life he’d left behind and reminded him that he was a different man now, a man making a fresh life for himself in a magical new world.
Now, it seemed as if he had no right to enjoy any of those things. No moral right to be in Cornwall at all.
He got out of the car and lingered by the caravan, unwilling to go inside. The double-fronted house was lit up by a full moon that shone a beacon of light across the sea to the edge of the grounds. There, it seemed to be pointing. There is the place you aren’t entitled to.
There was only one thing to do: go to Davey and speak to him. Tell him that he couldn’t keep the secret any longer, not for any reason, and then try to explain everything to Tammy. She’d seemed distracted that evening and he’d been on the verge of blurting out everything to her when she’d asked if she could stay with him.
That resolution lightened his mood a little. Even if it all went wrong, at least he’d be able to stop the terrible tension of keeping two secrets from her. Davey would surely understand if he explained that he cared too much for Tammy to keep anything from her.
Feeling his burden lift a fraction, he was about to go into the caravan when he glimpsed something that made the hairs spring to life on the back of his neck.
