The plan was set and mid-morning they were on their way along the coastal path from Tresco Harbour towards the castle, swishing at the foxgloves with grass stems. Being out with the girls was a breath of fresh air: leaving Lily a little space to focus on Étienne’s revelation the night before.
A plaque explained how the sturdy round turret had been built on the orders of Oliver Cromwell to protect the channel between Tresco and Bryher from invaders.
On the water, yachts lay at anchor alongside Rory’s fishing boat. A couple of paddleboarders sculled their way between the craft and tourists sunbathed on the beach opposite the Rock Inn.
Tania and Amelie climbed the steps onto the castle roof ahead of Étienne and Lily. They kept a close eye on them although the girls could only peer through the crenellations.
Tania wandered back to them. ‘Can we live here?’ she asked.
‘What? Inside the castle?’ Lily said with a smile.
Tania’s eyes lit with excitement. ‘Can we?’
‘Unfortunately not.’
‘Fortunatelynot,’ Étienne said. ‘It would be very draughty in the winter without windows or carpets and there’s no WiFi. Besides, how would I work in London at the hospital?’
Tania had the solution. ‘Auntie Lily could live here and we could visit her. So, we can see our friends and go toThe Lion King. Then we can come to the castle and Stark at the weekends.’
There you go. Simple. They’ve got it all worked out, Lily thought, hoping their lives would stay as uncomplicated for as long as possible.
Tania scooted off to join Amelie, who had found two substantial wooden sticks someone had left in the castle hearths.
Lily watched them start a sword fight, shrieking withdelight. ‘It must be wonderful to be at the age where anything and everything is possible.’
‘It still is,’ Étienne said. ‘If you let it be.’
‘Maybe you’re right. You know, Elspeth told me something the other day. As your time shortens you have to be more selective. There’s only so much you can get done, so it had better be the stuff you really want. It focuses the mind. I thought it was a bit morbid but I do understand. I’ve been given a second chance … actually two if you count my fainting episode … because I didn’t listen the first time.’
‘I only needed one wake-up call,’ Étienne said. ‘Cara taught me not to waste a moment.’
Lily’s heart squeezed with emotion that was almost too much to bear. She put her arm around him.
They were silent for half a minute, watching the twins running around the castle tower, squealing with glee while they fought off invaders with driftwood swords. The sky was impossibly blue and the channel a palette of greens and blues shimmering over russet rocks.
‘Étienne, I’ve realised something else too … I think I already had, even before you told me about Cara last night.’
He turned to look at her yet stayed silent so she could speak.
‘It’s easy to make up a narrative that justifies what you wanted to do in the first place but I didn’t come here looking for excuses to give up working. On the contrary, I came here hoping to tick a box, fend off the people wanting me to take a break – maybe get some sleep.’
He laughed softly.
‘Yet I’ve reached a different conclusion. I can honour Cara’s life not by killing myself to succeed at all costs, but by being a person I’m happy with. By allowing myself to be imperfect and flawed. By letting myself experience other riches in life – freedom, peace …’ The next word formed in her head but dried in her throat. She was still too afraid to say it.
‘And perhaps love?’ he said, keeping his eyes on the horizon. ‘Since I spoke to you, I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time I looked to the future too. Opened my own heart …’
‘Oh, Étienne.’ Lily felt tears sting the back of her eyes and the brief brush of his fingers against her forearm.
‘You must tell Sam how you feel,’ he said, an urgency in his voice that she couldn’t ignore.
‘He wouldn’t listen. No, that’s not true. He’d listen but not believe me.’
‘Then you mustshowhim.’
‘What about my other life?’ she said. ‘Myreallife. I’m afraid that this is a dream I’m going to wake up from.’ She waved her arm at the castle, the blue sky, the sailing boats, the kids wheeling around like gulls. ‘It’s so idyllic, it might be heaven.’
‘It’s not the place you’re afraid of, it’s having your heart broken.’
