Page 97 of Second Chance Summer
Wrong-footed, Lily decided to pretend she hadn’t heard. ‘There’s an honesty about them. All of them, even Morven. They are their own authentic selves.’
‘I’m pleased you think that, but they probably have their secrets. Everyone has secrets, a part of them they want to keep hidden …’ He broke off, a melancholy expression on his face that sent a chill up Lily’s spine.
‘Cara was perfect. Someone to live up to – not that I ever could,’ Lily said, disturbed by Étienne’s cryptic statement. ‘And I can’t imagine what she’d have to hide …’
That sad, wistful smile crept onto his lips again. ‘If you’re living your life by the standards of someone you think was perfect then please, dear Lily, don’t. I worshipped your sister, but she wasn’t a paragon.’
Lily grew cold at the expression in his eyes. It was so full of regret. ‘What do you mean?’ she said, though part of her didn’t want to know.
‘Before the car crash, Cara and I had been going through a difficult time. Our jobs – my job especially – consumed us. Being parents to twins, I suppose we both felt under a lot of pressure and Cara … well, she looked elsewhere.’
‘Elsewhere?’Lily felt sick.
Étienne patted her hand. ‘I am sorry to tell you this, but I think you should know. Now that you’ve made space in your life for something other than work, now you’re stronger. Cara had a brief fling with a man from work. Another consultant. In fact, I knew him slightly.’
‘No,’ Lily burst out. ‘I don’t believe it.’
‘I’m afraid it’s true,’ he said, gently but with deep sadness that brought a chill to Lily.
Tears stung her eyes. It was impossible to take in.
‘And I have fully forgiven her. But at the time, we were considering a trial separation …’ He sighed. ‘Then before we could, we were separated forever and my heart was ripped to pieces.’
‘Oh, Étienne! You never said anything about this.’
‘Why would I? What would it do other than hurt your parents, the girls, everyone who loved her? But with you, right now, I think that it’s more important to be honest. You must realise that no one is without flaw. Not Cara and not me either, because I didn’t give her the time and attention she clearly craved. I know it must come as a shock but if your sister were still here, you would have found out.’
Lily hugged her knees, still numb with shock.
Étienne rested his hand on her back briefly.
‘I had no idea,’ she said, choked with emotion.
‘No, and maybe we would have got back together. It might have been the wake-up call I needed – and she might have found that we were worth saving after all. I just don’t know and now I never will.’
Lily’s tears were hot on her cheeks. ‘I’m sorry. For you and for Cara.’
He held her hand. ‘You’re not angry with me for telling you?’
‘How could I be? I’m shocked because I’d no idea. I’d built up her memory into something so flawless. I didn’t know …’
‘She will always be my dear Cara to me. I still love her as much as ever, but you mustn’t kill yourself trying to live up to her. I have deliberated about telling you this but I know she would’ve wanted me to, so that you can look at your life through a new lens and treasure the things that really matter. Treasure them right now. Promise me that?’
She nodded, dabbing at her eyes with one of the starfish serviettes left on the picnic blanket.
‘At least you’re missing what you had, even if it wasn’t faultless,’ she said. ‘I miss what I’ve never had.’
It was the first admission she’d ever made to him – to anyone – that she might need a partner in life, someone to love and love her back.
‘Lily, you must let someone in. I – you have no idea … Just don’t ignore the gift in front of you. You mustn’t let it –him– go.’
‘Sam again,’ she said, with a dismissive laugh. ‘That can’t come to anything.’
‘It can if you let it. If you have the will. Youmustmake it happen.’
‘What if he doesn’t want it? He’s made that clear enough. How could our two worlds ever meet?’
‘Cara and I made it happen and we lived on opposite sides of the world. You two live in the same country!’
