‘Is that one more thing on the agenda for Project New Lily?’ he asked, glad to shift the focus to her again. He felt wrung out.
Her eyes lit up. ‘Yes, it is and the list is growing longer every day. Learning to cook, spending more time with the family, going to the gym, travelling the world, running the business. I can’t do it all …’
‘I think you could do anything you wanted.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘You’re an extraordinary person, Lily. Unlike anyone I’ve ever met.’
He was no longer holding her hand. He was holding her in his arms and kissing her. Not a brush of the lips, a ‘did-that-really-happen’ moment – a deep kiss that made his spine tingle and wiped away every resolution he’d made not to reveal his feelings for her.
He took her hand and she seemed to know exactly what he wanted without him speaking. As the soft rain fell, he led her out of the door and to her cottage.
She stopped at the door.
‘Wow.’
‘Yeah.’
‘What is this, Sam?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘You tell me?’
‘It’s … risky. Believe me, Iwantto walk through that door with you and stay in your bed all night. Iwantto wake up with you.’
His heart sank. ‘But … there’s a “but” waiting, isn’t there?’
‘I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt either of us.’
His stomach knotted with dread. It was a little too late for this. He didn’t want her to be kind to him. He’d already decided that he would take the consequences of stepping closer, of putting his hand near the fire again.
‘You had your heart broken when Rhiannon left the islands,’ Lily said. ‘I’ll be doing the same thing come Monday. I care too much for you to let this become something that would hurt you all over again. It’s better if we leave it like this before the same thing happens again.’
‘So, it’s me you’re thinking of?’ he said, feeling numb with shock. ‘Justmyheart?’
‘I don’t want either of us to end up with a broken heart. We’ve both been through so much, I don’t think I could take any more pain. You’re not going to leave the retreat you’ve put so much into building. I’m not going to leave the business I’ve put so much into building.’ She stopped to draw breath then went on, ‘Please understand that doesn’t meanwe don’t care for each other, but we also don’t want to give up on our personal passions – and neither of us should. That’s not a good basis for any relationship.’
With that, she broke away, hurrying into her cottage before he could even reply.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
With enormous relief, Lily spotted the plane heading out of clouds towards the sunshine at St Mary’s Airport.
Boy, she needed some light to focus on after the gloom of the previous evening. Had she been right to end the relationship with Sam before it had even begun? Or should they just have slept together and been satisfied with that?
She’d had little rest, turning the words she’d said to him over and over, wondering endlessly if she’d made the right decision to push him away. Surely it would have been worse for both of them to have started a relationship that might end in failure?
Even if they could overcome the physical distance between them – and solve all the practicalities – Sam sounded as if he was still grieving for Rhiannon and clinging on to the past. Lily might simply be a distraction for him – a brief moment of solace.
After finally finding someone she felt a deep connection with, why did it have to be a man who lived in another world and whose heart was still in the possession of another woman? It had felt kinder to use their differences in lifestyle and commitments as an excuse for a clean break.
The plane came into view, seemingly metres above thecliff at the end of the runway, wings wobbling. Before she had time to think nervously about its precious cargo, it had dropped onto the tarmac and braked hard.
A minute later, the steps unfolded and Étienne and the girls were climbing down them. They spotted Lily immediately. Once they were off the runway, the twins broke away, pigtails flying in the breeze.
‘Auntieeee Lileeeeeee!’
They ran into the terminal and launched themselves on her.
‘Hello, you two! It’s so wonderful to see you.’ Lily felt emotion clog her throat. Her spirits soared. She’d always have Tania and Amelie, her beloved nieces. Nothing could ever change that.
Amelie, keen to be on the move as usual, danced around her while Tania gripped her hand like a vice.
