‘Fine!’ I hold my hands up in surrender, adding, ‘I’m not interested anyway!’
He stomps off to get another bottle and I put my own still-full glass down on the table. There’s no way I’m drinking that. I’ve never been a morning drinker – not even for special occasions – and I can still taste yesterday’s hangover. No more alcohol for me for a while.
I take a piece of creamy chocolate ganache, letting it melt in my mouth, and watch as Mack moves across the room, fussing over the older women. He smiles happily, topping up glasses and asking excitable questions about flavour preferences. He’s actually good at this. Maybe he’s just miserable at the library? Maybe he hates books, and that’s why he seems so pissed off all the time.
‘Have a bigger bite!’ he gleefully instructs Angela, like he’s a whole other person. It’sfascinating.
I said I wasn’t interested in why he needs money, but obviously Ireallyam. I am desperate to know what his storyis. Who is this Mack? And is he – oh my god – could he be a real lifehuman beingunderneath all the tight black clothes and scowling?
What a terrible thought.
I sigh. There is at least one thing I can say for Mack: he’s taken my mind off Clara and her secret husband.
Except… what happens if she goes back to America with Brandon? After saying she wants that job at the library? I watch Mack as he delivers more cake to the table, smiling broadly the whole time.
He’ll hate me even more. And why does that bother me?
Chapter Thirty-ThreeCLARA
My heart is hammering as I slow-motion knock on the hotel room door.
Maybe he won’t answer? Do I want him to answer?
On my wrist, my watch flashes angrily, asking if I’m exercising because my heart rate is 130.
Fuck you, I mentally tell it.You have no idea how stressful this is.
I sense movement from inside the room, before I hear anything. It takes another minute but suddenly Brandon is standing before me, huge and looming in the door frame.
Oh god. I was not prepared.
He looks even more handsome than I remember. So large and burly and – I dunno –square. His face is tanned and symmetrical, stubble too long. Eye bags underline those huge dark eyes; he looks exhausted – but even that suits him. He’s wearing a rumpled version of a shirt I remember, with the buttons undone to his chest. I catch a glimpse of some hair and it makes my watch beep crossly again.
The same thought I had the first night I met him flashes across my consciousness now: these are genes I would want for my babies.
We stare at one another for a full ten seconds. I break the eye contact first, swallowing hard and staring down at my feet. This is going to be so fucking awkward, I shouldn’t have come, this is—
Suddenly he grabs me around the waist, picking me up, circling me around in the air and pulling me to him in a bear hug.
‘Clara!’ he breathes into my ear, laughing. ‘I’ve missed you so much, babe!’
‘Put me down,’ I say, trying to sound upset but laughing despite myself. He does so and then kisses me, hard and full of purpose. I let it happen, hating myself. This is why I didn’t want to see him – it is impossible not to fall back into something so familiar.
A voice in my head tells me to stop.
‘We should talk,’ I say, gasping a little and stepping back. Away from the heat of his body. I’ve come here to end this properly. No more running away, it’s time to be honest. Jemma thinks I’m incapable of being a grown-up, but I’ll show her. ‘Listen, Brandon, I—’
‘Babe, please come back to me,’ he cuts me off. ‘I’m lost without you, I really am. Give us another chance. You know we’re right for each other. I’m sorry for everything that happened, and I forgive you for disappearing like that.’
‘You forgive me…’ I trail off, feeling confused.
‘Yeah!’ he says, sounding sad. ‘It was the worst thing anyone’s ever done to me, I’ve been a wreck these last couple of months. You ignored my calls and messages, I thought you were dead!’
‘Apart from my very-much-alive Instagram posts?’ I ask dryly and he tuts.
‘It’s not funny, Clara, it was an awful thing to do to me.’ He sighs. ‘But I can get past it. I forgive you.’ He places enormous hands on my shoulders, looking deep into my eyes. ‘We’remarried, babe. Married! That’s no small thing, it means something. You have to give us another try! You left over nothing really – nothing! It was a little fight. We have to try to make this work, Clara, we can make each other happy. I love you and you love me. I know you do! And think about how good it was at the beginning! We were amazing. We can get that back.’
My head swims with confusion. I don’t know what to think. This is all so… OK, yes, he’s right, we were amazing at the beginning. And maybe I have been the one in the wrong, but I thought… I was so sure I needed a new start, a clean slate. I thought coming back here to my family was the right decision. I thought running away was the right thing. I thought it would be impossible to stay married to Brandon and I’d be better off here.
