‘Just knock already!’ snarls Buffy, and I do so immediately, genuinely a bit frightened.
I hear movement inside and prepare myself, tugging at my collar to allow for maximum cleavage.
The door opens and my breath catches…
It’s not Milo.
It’s a woman. ‘Hi!’ she says warmly, taking in the small, eclectic group. ‘I’m Amanda! You’re here to collect the drawers, right?’
I blink at her, fighting tears. Where’s Milo?
She frowns at my silence. ‘Er, Clara? No?’ She laughs nervously. ‘Sorry, I was expecting someone to pick up some furniture.’
Harry steps forward. ‘Sorry, yes, we are here for thedrawers. That is Clara, she’s just’ – he side-eyes me – ‘shy?’ I nod dumbly, trying to swallow my disappointment. He could still be here.
I take in Amanda. She’s pretty. But not the mysterious dark-haired woman I’ve seen Milo with in pictures. Girlfriend? Sister? Friend?
‘I’m Clara,’ I say at last, and she smiles at me.
‘Oh great! Come in. It’s through here.’ She leads us down a wide hallway, glancing back. ‘I’m so glad you brought help, I did mention its size, right?’ She looks at me nervously and I wave her concern away, clearing my throat.
‘So, it’s your chest of drawers, is it?’ I ask innocently, and Harry shoots me a look. ‘Or is it… someone else’s?’ Maybe that wasn’t the most subtle of openings but c’mon!
‘Um, yeah, it’s mine,’ she replies, then laughs. ‘Well,yoursnow, I guess.’ She stops in a large open plan kitchen diner and points across the room. ‘There.’
Oh fuck.
It’s fucking massive. Like, the biggest chest of drawers I’ve ever seen in my bloody life. I didn’t even know they made them this big.
I glance anxiously at Mum, Angela, Harry and Buffy, who are all staring with horror at this Range Rover of a chest of drawers. ‘It’s, um, lovely,’ I offer. Shit, I really should’ve paid attention to the measurements. I exchanged a lot of messages with ‘M’ over the last couple of weeks, and they kept flagging centimetres, but measurements don’t really mean much to me, so I didn’t give it any thought.
‘Great!’ I swallow hard. ‘Let’s, um, get this in the van then.’ I wave at it and the group moves with misery towards the 800-stone item.
‘So…’ I clear my throat, watching them begin the struggle. ‘Amanda, um, who… er, where is the person I have been messaging with? Um, Milo Samuels, wasn’t it? I think? Maybe that was their name?’
She frowns, looking confused, before her face clears. ‘Oh! No, Milo’s my brother. I was using his Facebook account to sell this. I don’t have a profile anymore, and he said Marketplace was the way to go. But it was me you were messaging!’
‘No!’ I say too strongly. ‘It was anM.’
She looks a little alarmed. ‘Er, yeah, Mandy. Amanda – Mandy. Sorry for the confusion.’
Fuck. OK, so Milo is her brother. This could still work. I just need to befriend this woman and get in with her family. This is actually way better! What lad doesn’t fancy his sister’s hot friends, right?
Across the room, Buffy is snarling at everyone as they inch the furniture monstrosity at a snail’s pace towards the exit.
‘Oh I see!’ I grin. ‘Totally get it.’ I pause, searching for a subject. Something we can bond over. Something that will instantly make her want to be my pal.
The group makes it to the door with the chest. They’re all red-faced and sweating. ‘PIVOT,’ Harry shouts, looking around expectantly but no one reacts. His smile falters. ‘From…Friends?’ he adds but still no one laughs.
‘Ha,’ I offer him politely, turning back to my new best friend. ‘So Amanda – um,Mandy– why are you getting rid of it anyway, when it’s so… so, um, lovely?’
She sighs, looking unhappy. ‘I’ve just broken up with someone and I’m selling all their stuff.’
There. There it is. I know we can be best friends now. Bitter women mid-break-up are my forte. I can’t tell you how many best friends I’ve made in club loos.
‘Oh babe, that sucks, you poor thing. Exes are the worst,’ I say and she gives me a look. For a moment I think I’ve crossed a line, but then her face crumples and she bursts into tears.
‘I hate him so much!’ she wails, and I open my arms, folding her sobbing body into my chest.
