‘Looking for a new favourite?’ Anita’s voice right behind me takes me by surprise. She grins, pushing a trolley of books. I spot the newest Lindsey Kelk novel I’ve been dying to read. Anita’s wearing one of her signature Christmasjumpers; she wears them all year round. ‘I saw you’ve just returnedToo Good to Be True– again! Are you hunting for something else to fill the time until you check it out again?’
I beam. She knows my routine far too well. ‘Something like that, Anita.’ I can’t tell her I’m actually on the lookout for a person who I’m eighty per cent sure is unlikely to be an eligible man.
I glance around the room again, suddenly feeling so stupid. Look at the people who come here. It’s mostly elderly people. Mostly elderlywomen. There’s no way my note writer is a man – how have I let my housemates talk me into the idea? How manymenread romance novels by female authors? Very, very few. In fact, most men are horribly sneery about the whole genre. They think if it’s something written by a woman, by its very nature it must be trivial and shallow. Because all women’s interests are trivial and shallow, right? The thing is,Too Good to Be Truemight be about romance – and yes it might have a good dose of smut running through it – but it’s also about something much bigger. It’s about life and friendship and making the most of every moment of happiness that comes your way.
Anita regards the stacks before us. ‘Did you know that the ampersand used to be a letter? Until 1835, it was the twenty-seventh letter of the alphabet, after Z.’
‘That is amazing trivia.’ I forget my mission for a moment, agog. ‘Are you on any pub quiz teams? My step-mum Angela is always recruiting.’
She shrugs. ‘Unfortunately, my breadth of knowledge isvery limited. Mostly to word and letter facts.’ She perks up. ‘Did you know J, U and W were only added in the sixteenth century?’
‘Wow!’ I say with genuine enthusiasm, and she laughs warmly.
‘There are a few benefits to working in a library,’ she confides, leaning in. ‘One seems to be people constantly telling you fun stuff about words.’ She laughs again. ‘I love it!’
‘Me too!’ I tell her. I take a deep breath, trying to decide how brave I’m capable of being today. ‘Hey, Anita,’ I begin carefully. ‘You know how there’s only one other person who ever takes outToo Good to Be True?’ I’ve tried asking her about this before, but this time it’s more than just idle curiosity.
She nods distractedly, checking something on her work iPad.
‘Is it…’ I’m not sure how much to ask. ‘Is it a… man or a woman?’
She glances up curiously. ‘Huh?’
‘I know you probably can’t tell me a name or whatever.’ I swallow nervously. I don’t want to scare her or make her think I’m a stalker. ‘I was just interested, I guess! Y’know! Because you know how obsessed I am with the novel and I wondered who it is that’s equally obsessed!’ I laugh, aiming for breezy and coming out as manic. ‘I know they started taking it out about a year or two ago, but I just wondered…’ I trail off and Anita looks alarmed.
‘You know I can’t tell you about other users of the library,Jemma, it’s a privacy issue.’ She looks around fearfully, checking for other staff members floating around. There’s only Mack nearby, still in his chair behind the counter. He’s checking something on the computer, jabbing angrily at the keyboard and muttering to himself.
‘Sorry,’ I mumble, feeling guilty. ‘I was just… wondering.’
‘I’d better get on,’ Anita says and I pulse with embarrassment. I hate making people uncomfortable. She moves off and then hesitates, turning back and adding in a low voice before hurrying off, ‘Ask Mack.’
Mack? I frown as she bustles away. Why would he help me? He hates me.
But I guess it’s worth asking. Maybe Anita was hinting that he doesn’t give a crap about library members’ privacy? I watch him for a moment, sitting behind the desk. He actually looks genuinely upset – more so than usual. Something on his computer is really getting to him. I approach with trepidation.
‘Er, are you all right?’ I ask carefully and he looks up, surprised and annoyed.
‘No,’ he says shortly and I consider walking away.
‘Anything I can help with?’ I offer as nicely as I can.
‘Help?’ His eyes snap up to mine. ‘No, there’s nothing you can do.’ He pauses, looking irritated again. ‘Is there something you actually want?’ he asks impatiently. ‘I’m having a really bad day and I have to get back to this, it’s urgent.’ He waves at the computer and I nod, resisting a strong urge to tell him to fuck off with his oh-so important business.
‘Um, so, er, you know the book I always check out? The novel calledToo Good to Be True?’
He looks shifty. ‘You think I take any notice of your reading choices?’
I frown. ‘Well, no, that’s not what I meant. I just—’
‘What about it? Have you lost it? You better not have!’ He looks genuinely upset. ‘We’ll have to charge you if so.’
‘No, no!’ I protest quickly, appalled at the very idea. ‘I haven’t lost it, the book is fine. I’ve just returned it actually.’
‘Right, and?’ He is distracted by his screen, typing quickly, concern on his face.
‘You’re clearly in the middle of something,’ I say, any hope draining away, as I turn to go.
‘Just say it, whatever it is.’ His voice is a little softer and I turn back to find his full attention on me, his black eyes penetrating and hyper-focused on mine. He adds, ‘What is it you want to know?’
