‘How would she even know it was you who bent it?’ Salma looks intrigued.
Jemma shrugs. ‘There’s only me and one other person whochecks it out. We take it in turns. I’ve tried to ask Anita the librarian about this mysterious otherToo Good to Be Truefan but she gets all GDPR-y on me. There are other copies of the book available – especially now there’s this TV version coming out – but only me and one other person, Karen, check outthiscopy.’
‘That’s so mysterious!’ I breathe out, enthralled.
Salma waves the envelope in the air. ‘And this is that very first note, is it? Can I have a read?’ Jemma nods and Salma pulls out an A5-sized sheet of paper. She scans the contents. ‘Hold on, why are you calling her Karen?’ she asks, glancing up. ‘There’s no name here. Did you do intros later?’
Jemma smiles shyly. ‘No, actually. We haven’t shared anything about our identities at all. I’ve just been calling her Karen in my head because she was so scoldy in that first message.’
I move closer to read over Salma’s shoulder.
Dear fellow reader of this brilliant book. Please don’t bend the front cover, it’s a cardinal sin. I could only be more outraged if you bent pages over or wrote notes in the margins.
Sincerely, your TGTBT co-fan
‘So wait,’ I say slowly, ‘how come you’re assuming it’s a woman writing the notes?’
Salma nods at this. ‘Yeah, because there is definitely a flirty vibe to this thing.’ She wriggles her eyebrows at Jemma, who looks startled. ‘This whole message is sowink-wink. Even the cutesy note-in-a-book thing – it’s like the plot of a movie.’
‘Or indeed, a book,’ Harry points out dryly.
I loudly gasp for the fiftieth time. ‘Oh mygod, Jim-Jems, imagine if this is some sexy man-stranger.’ I cover my mouth. ‘This would be the best meet-cute! Sooo much better than Tinder.’
Jemma rolls her eyes. ‘Let’s not get carried away here. Ofcourseit’s a woman! Only women read romance books, don’t they?’ She glances reprovingly over at Harry. ‘Don’t pout, Harry!’ she cries. ‘When did you last read anything that wasn’t a boring war memoir or some motivational speaker nonsense from an Elon Musk wannabe?’ She sighs. ‘It’s like men can’t admit they’d enjoy reading about romance or their masculinity would instantly shrivel up and die.’
‘Some men read romance!’ Harry protests, his face pink. ‘You don’t know! This note could very easily be from a man. We… I… men are—’
‘Not All Men!’ Salma cackles and Harry shuts up.
Jemma rolls her eyes. ‘OK, well, if we’re saying it’s not necessarily a woman writing these, it might just as easily be a freaky teenage boy with anger issues.’
Salma scoffs dismissively, then leans forward. ‘What did you reply? Do you remember what you wrote?’
Jemma looks bashful again, before retrieving a notebook from her bag. ‘I actually made a copy – there’s a photocopier in the library – and I wanted to make sure I remembered what I’d written. All our messages are there.’
I leap forward, grabbing for the pile of notes in her hand and reading the first one out loud.
Hey, TGTBT co-fan,
Thanks for your note, though I’m outraged by your outrage. How is it fair that I’m being accused of such heinous book crimes, without the chance to defend myself?? Do you have any evidence of this so-called cover bending? They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but that’s just what you’re doing. Anyway, I’m an open book, so send in your lawyers, as long as they do things by the book.
Too many reading puns?
More importantly, get over yourself. Books are made to be enjoyed! This one more than most. If a cover or two gets sacrificed along the way, at least we know it was loved in the process. Take a page out of my book and relax.
Sincerely, the OG fan
I groan. ‘God, Jim-Jems, did you have to do so many book puns? How embarrassing!’
She reddens again, her nostrils flaring. ‘She – er, they – liked it, thank you!’
Before she can stop me, I read out the stranger’s reply.
It’s true, I’m judgemental. I always have been. Especially when it comes to books. But I do agree that they are made to be loved, so I will forgive you any future book offences. Especially since you’re so brilliant at book puns. Have youalways loved reading? What was your favourite book as a child? I would sayThe Very Hungry Caterpillarwas mine, but that was George W. Bush’s favourite, wasn’t it? Which must’ve ruined a very lucrative income stream for that poor author.
‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar!’ I screech, and it is too much for Jemma. She yanks the batch of notes from mine and Salma’s grasp, then turns on her heel, heading in the direction of her room.
Salma, Harry and I regard each other excitedly.
