CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
‘There’s someone here to see you.’ I look up to see Katie in my office doorway. She looks perplexed.
‘To see me?’ I ask absent-mindedly, but my mind is racing. I’ve been half expecting a call from Neima in HR for weeks. Y’know, to discuss my recent absences and seriously shit work ethic. And she is the kind of person who will use those words.
But – I check the wall clock – it’s 5.10pm on a Friday. Surely they wouldn’t wait until the last moment of the week to sack me?
Oh shit, of course they would. No questions asked when I disappeared with my stuff – and fewer questions when I failed to reappear on Monday. Fucking Neima. That clever bitch. She’s too good at her job.
Katie shifts her weight from foot to foot. ‘Yeah…’ She looks weird. ‘It’s a bloke. He seems a bit het up. A bit sweaty. You weren’t expecting him, right? There’s nothing in the diary.’
Of course there’s nothing in the diary! It’s Friday afternoon. Even if I wasn’t currently in a period of being extra shit at work, I wouldn’t schedule any meetings for this time of the week. You’d have to be a monster.
I shake my head.
‘Shall I call security?’ Katie is almost hopping now.
‘That seems like a slight overreaction,’ I tell her nicely, but I’m thinking: MAYBE WE SHOULD. MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST CALL 999 RIGHT NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. ‘Let’s just go see who it is and then see if the authorities need to be alerted?’ I tinkle a little, trying to ease her fears BUT OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY DIALLING THE NINES ON THE PHONE IN MY HAND WHAT IF IT’S A MANIAC.
It’s Alistair.
I blink at the sight of him, standing in my reception, looking at a nothingy framed picture on the wall. He’s so out of place here, so incongruous with this world. He reaches to touch the frame and it falls. He catches it, juggling with the corporate art for a second and quickly replacing it on the wall, looking guilty. Clumsy old Alistair.
‘Hello,’ I say as normally as possible. He turns to me and his whole face lights up into a huge grin, cute snaggle tooth on show.
‘Esther!’ he says, and I sense Katie hovering nervously at my shoulder.
I turn to hiss at her, ‘It’s fine. He’s an old friend, I know him. You can go back to your desk now. No securitynecessary.’ I’m also not sure what security she was planning to call. Ninety-five-year-old Barnaby on the front desk downstairs?
She looks a little disappointed by the lack of maniacs but does as she’s told, still glancing back curiously as she leaves.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask, my voice bewildered as Alistair pulls me in for a hug. ‘I mean, it’s lovely to see you but—’ He pulls away, but his face is still close to mine.
Oh that Alistair smell. Jesus, it makes me go weak at the knees.
‘I need to talk to you,’ he says in an urgent tone, and up close I notice that he does look a bit sweaty – more so than normal – and freaked out.
‘What’s wrong?’ I’m worried now. Has something happened?
‘Can we’ – he lets go of me fully now, pacing a little in front of me – ‘can we maybe, um, I don’t know, go somewhere? To talk? I really need to talk to you.’
‘Er…’ I have no idea what to make of this. ‘I don’t finish until six…’ I gesture helplessly and he grabs me by the hands.
‘Please?’ he says, looking deep into my soul and I can resist him nothing.
‘OK!’ I whisper, checking behind me to see who’s about. No one. ‘Go go go!’ I say urgently. ‘I’ll meet you outside in two minutes.’ He runs for the lifts and I hesitate. Am I really going to leave without a word? Is this important enough? Is he going to say what I think he’s going to say? If so, isn’t it worth it?
Sod it. I dash inside, grabbing my bag and coat, then running out the door before Katie has a chance to say anything. I feel a pang of something but ignore it, focusing instead on Alistair, waiting for me down there.
He is leaning against the wall outside, and gives me the crooked smile when he sees me. My heart thumps at the sight of him. He’s so handsome, just like always. I picture him now in the playground, his curtains flying in the wind as he kicked the football to Nick and the other lads.
He was so good at football.
‘Esther.’ He says my name again as he closes the gap between us and I’m so sure he will kiss me.
But girlfriend.
I step back and he looks at his feet.
