‘You can hardly hear him,’ I snort, adding, ‘And who else would it be?!’ She nods thoughtfully, then breaks away, flopping onto my bed.
I join her. ‘So how’s your life going, Barry?’
She perks up a little. ‘That’s not my name, but hey, I’ve gottwojob interviews next week. For actual real-life marketing jobs! I might be able to tell Franco to stuff his fucking bar job soon.’
‘That’s so exciting!’ I say as encouragingly as I can.
The trouble is, Bibi has constant, never-ending interviews for jobs, and they never seem to go anywhere. It’s sodispiriting for her. And for me, if I’m honest. I rally some enthusiasm and say, ‘Tell me about them. What are they for?’
She waves her hands dismissively. ‘If I get a second interview, I’ll tell you all about it, promise.’
‘Ugh,’ I harumph. ‘You and Lou are so secretive about your projects these days.’ I eye her. ‘Meanwhile, I tell you every pathetic detail of my existence. At least you weren’t actually there in person to witness my humiliation in the car last week.’
She laughs. ‘It wasn’t that bad,’ she lies. ‘I’m sure Alistair wasn’t toooo horrified.’
It’s been a week since my road trip to Milton Keynes with Alistair, followed by the cheese and wine reunion with Paul. On the way home – slightly drunk and horny – I basically wrestled Alistair into the back seat, so he’d be sitting next to me. Jackie stayed in the front next to Nick, which left us finally able to talk.
Except – it turns out – trying to bond romantically with your ex when his mate from school is singing Run-DMC in the front as his dog whines along is, er, an impossibility.
And then, about twenty minutes into the drive, as boiling hot, stale air blasted from vents that were fused open, and the slightly broken seatbelt pierced my side, the cheese and red wine caught up with me. In a big, epic, disgusting way.
At the service station, I tried to clean up the smell of Stinking Bishop and Gorgonzola as best I could, but it was fairly hopeless. Nick was very kind, saying I shouldn’t worry, and that the car had seen worse, but I didn’t dare look atAlistair for the rest of the journey as we all hung out the windows. I haven’t heard from him since.
‘At least it went well with Paul, though, right?’ Bibi clears her throat, speaking louder to cover the noise of busy magicians next door. I nod, trying to dismiss images of undigested cheese in Alistair’s lap.
‘It was amazing,’ I sigh. ‘It was the same as it ever was between us – or better actually. I think I really like him, Beeb. Everything feels so easy and fun with him. And the chemistry is really intense between us, you should see how hard we flirt.’ I smile, thinking about how great it was, hanging out with Paul, talking nonsense. Bantering endlessly like we always used to.
‘But you didn’t snog?’ She winks at me. ‘Another missed chance with your Missed Chance.’
I hit her with a pillow. ‘No. It was all very chaste. But when he gets back to London in a few weeks, we’re going to meet up again. And I hope there will be kissing next time. Lots of it. And probably other stuff, too.’ I feel a tingle as Bibi faux retches. When she recovers she turns back to me.
‘So is that it then? You and Paul? Done and done? End of the Seven Exes Mission?’
I shake my head. ‘No! It’s not like it’s a sure thing. I want to keep going. Plus’ – I cover my eyes, taking a deep breath – ‘I didn’t hear back from that phone number when I texted Alex, so I’ve tried Instagram. I can see the message was read, so there’s no plausible deniability when it comes to ignoring me now. If I don’t hear back, at least I’ll know for sure I’m being officially rejected.’
There is an odd silence before Bibi speaks.
‘Well, I think it’s a bad idea,’ she says shortly.
‘What?’ I am perplexed. ‘Why is it a bad idea? You never even met Alex.’ She doesn’t reply. ‘Why are you being funny about this?’ I ask, as non-confrontationally as possible, and she turns away on the bed. But that’s OK. It’s how Bibi opens up – she can’t be looking at you directly when she’s feeling emotional. Not that she ever is.
‘You know I just feel a bit weird about Alex,’ she says at last, in a quiet voice. ‘You and me never would’ve met or become friends if you two hadn’t broken up. If you hadn’t had your whole friends with benefits thing. You wouldn’t even know me. What if you become mates again, and don’t want me around anymore?’
‘That would never happen!’ I exclaim, lying down to spoon her across my bed. I nestle my face into her neck as she remains stiff in my arms. ‘Honestly, Bibi, you are my friend because of who you are and I am so lucky to have you in my life. Nothing will change that. We were so lucky you came along when you did. You’re no one’s second choice or replacement. I love you so much – both me and Althea the magic one love you.’
She sniggers against me and I feel her body relax a little.
‘OK,’ she says at last in a small voice. But I’m not sure if it totally is. Bibi’s always had a problem with Alex; that’s not suddenly going to change after one conversation.
Through the wall we hear the familiar sound of a male orgasm, and the less-familiar sound of Lou having one, too.
‘Good for them!’ Bibi says smiling.
‘I know!’ I am relieved we have moved away from trickier subjects. ‘Maybe this is the start of some decent sex for them. They’d have the actual perfect relationship then, the fuckers. I hate them.’
‘You never know,’ she laughs and I pull her in for a proper hug. Surprisingly for Bibi, she lets me.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
