I turn my attention back to Eva, who is sipping her Coke and looking a little glum.
‘Are youOK?’ I say gently, and she nods a little too vigorously, smiling.
She has been uncharacteristically quiet since she got out here. Not surprising, of course, with everything that’s going on back at home,but I am still very worried. When I’ve tried to get her to talk about Jeremy, she’s brushed me off, saying she doesn’t want to spoil our lovely holiday. Jeremy has tried to ring many more times since that first day, and I’ve tried to encourage her to answer, but as far as I know, she has not. Nor has she called him back. But now she’s trapped with me on a boat for another four hours and it’s enoughnow. I need to talk to her.
‘Eva,’ I say softly and I slip my arm around her back. She leans into me, and I feel her sag a little on my shoulder.
‘Listen, my darling wonderful Eva,’ I say in a clear but low voice. ‘I’m going to make a little speech now, and you don’t have to say anything, but I want you to listen.’ Her breathing stills against me.
‘Eva,’ I begin. ‘I know you are struggling.I know you are worried and more scared than you’ve ever been in your life. I know you are, and it only makes you human, so I want you to know it’sOKthat you feel that way. But I also want you to know that you are not on your own. I swear you’re not. I haven’t been a good friend to you recently – or maybe ever – but I will be. I want to be. And I am going to help you as much as you want or needwhen our little girl comes along.’ I feel the breath catch in her throat on the word girl. I keep going. ‘But I need you to start talking, Eva. I need you to start asking. You need to tell me when you’re feeling afraid, and when you want me to be there. Because I will do everything I can to be there for you, like you’ve always been there for me. I love you so much, my friend, and so will your child.I promise you, Eva, you’re going to be the most wonderful mummy ever, and this kid is going to be the luckiest little thing in the universe to have you. It’s going to love you so damned much. I know it’s scary, but I swear to you, you’re going to be brilliant.’
She doesn’t say anything, but I can feel she is crying quietly. I clear my throat.
‘And, Eva, I know you’re scared of sharingyourself this much with Jeremy, but you need to start talking to him, as well. He is not a mind reader, so you need to tell him what you need and what you’re feeling. He is a lovely, kind, sweet person, and he will listen. Kindness is a more important personality trait than almost anything, and it’s really rare, Eva.’ I pause. ‘He wants to make you happy, I know he does. And he also loves you somethingcrazy. I honestly don’t think anyone has ever loved anything or anyone like Jeremy loves you. And, Eva, I think you feel the same. You’re just hiding your head in the sand, like you do sometimes, because you’re scared. It’s understandable, but it’s time to stop hiding away, please, my lovely, lovely Eva.’
There is a long silence while she sobs quietly into my neck.
She speaks at last,in a cracked voice. ‘Oh, Alice.’ She pulls a tissue from her pocket and wipes her nose before adding, half laughing, ‘You know, it’s funny, I didn’t think you really liked Jeremy very much.’
‘What?’ I say, outraged. ‘Of course I do! I adore him. He’s brilliant and sexy. When you are fifty and can’t stand each other, I plan on having an affair with him, Eva.’
She giggles. ‘That would befine, but I genuinely don’t think I will ever not be able to stand him. I love him so much,’ she says. ‘But maybe we could have a group affair?’
‘That sounds agreeable to me,’ I say blithely.
She takes a deep breath and I feel her heat on my shoulder as she wipes the last remaining tears from her eyes.
‘Thank you, Alice,’ she says quietly, adding in a dramatic voice, ‘You are the windbeneath my wings.’
‘I’m fucking what?’ I shout and she bends forward, laughing.
‘I love you,’ she says simply, warmly, and looks up at me at last. Her eyes are red and shiny, but she looks happy. She looks content and calm. For the first time in days, she looks like she isOK. I know she’ll beOK. She has Jeremy and she has me, and soon we’ll all have a little extra person, too. We areall going to beOK.
