The silence in the room isdeafening and I remain seated in the centre of it, still and numb. All these plus ones I don’t know stare down at me pityingly. Look at the drunkthirty-year-old making a fool of herself, yet again.
Single. Alone. Pathetic. Birthday cake on her foot.
Eva’s lovely worried face fills my vision, and horror fills me as she takes my hand and I slowly stagger to my feet.
‘Are you all right,Alice? Are you bleeding?’ she asks me kindly. Too kindly. The humiliation burns as I try to laugh, shaking my head, and trying not to burst into tears.
‘Shall we go to the loo and get you cleaned up?’ Eva says in a low voice, holding my hand as the waiter arrives through the door. He stops short, appalled at the mess in the middle of the room.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I whisper in his direction,the crushing weight of shame burrowing deep into me. I can feel everyone’s eyes still on me.
Behind Eva’s shoulder, Mark is staring at his phone, his face lit up by a message he’s reading. He doesn’t look embarrassed any more, he looks frightened. This isn’t about my night turning into a nightmare, this is something else. His grip is white, his knuckles almost yellow, as he makes eye contactwith me. The mess around me and the alcohol and the burning humiliation is suddenly a long way away.
‘Alice.’ Mark is pale and sweaty as he reaches for me. ‘It’s Mum – she says Steven’s in hospital. It’s really bad.’
