‘FINE,’ I shout back, and slump into the seat, determined to enjoy myself despite the sulking child across from me. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s great, I’ll just ignore him and have fun. I don’t need his weirdness.
But suddenly he is talkingagain. ‘I just think you could be honest with me and say if you’re done with this, rather than making it so obvious. It’s a bit of a shitty way to treat someone,’ he says loudly, as we turn upside down.
‘You fuckingWHAT?’ I shout, over the roar of the rollercoaster. What is he talking about? Done withthis? With what? With this fling?
‘I mean, we’ve had fun, Alice, but we both knew whatthis was,’ he is almost screaming.
‘I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE – ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH – TALKING ABOUT,’ I shriek back, thrown around in my seat like a rag doll. It’s like being back in Dom’s Uber car.
‘WHATEVER AL – ARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHH – YOU ARE CLEARLY DONE, YOU CLEARLY DON’T LIKE ME ANY MORE.’
‘I AM SO CONFUSED, DOM – ARGGGGHHHHHHHH.’
‘YOU CLEARLY DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH –WAAHHHHHHHHHH – MEEEEEE.’
‘BECAUSE PATRICK AND ISY ARE HERE?’ I scream, still baffled.
Ethan waves angrily at me, flailing in his seat. ‘ER, EXCUSE ME, I’M HERE TOO,’ he shouts irrelevantly.
‘OK, SORRY,’ I concede, still yelling into the wind. ‘YOU THINK I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU BECAUSE PATRICK AND ISY AND ETHAN ARE HERE TOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH?’
Dom’s hair is allover his face as his reply hits me in the face.
‘STOP PLAYING DUMB, ALICE. I CAN SEE YOU FANCY PATRICK, IT’S FUCKING OBVIOU – WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH – IT’S OBVIOUS YOU DOOOOO.’
We go into a tunnel and our group falls silent in the pitch black. I am panting with adrenaline and fury. I fancy Patrick? Where is this coming from? I think Patrick is brilliant as a new friend, but I have no designson him. It hadn’t even occurred to me to try anything. Sure we get on really well, but I thought Dom got on great with Patrick, too. We’ve spent the last few days with him, but I could swear Dom invited him along as much as I did. And ultimately, it’s Dom I’ve been going home with at the end of every day.
We emerge from the tunnel and Dom looks angry and sweaty. Patrick is staring awkwardlyupwards – which is soon downwards as we flip over again.
I am seething. This is so uncool. What right does Dom have to tell me who I should or shouldn’t be fancying, anyway? It’s not like he’s my boyfriend. I have so much I want to shout at him, but we can’t keep having this argument on a rollercoaster. It’s awkward, sure, but it’s also just really difficult and my throat is starting to hurtfrom shouting over the noise.
But Dom isn’t done. ‘AND IT’S NOT JUST PATRICK. YOU THROW YOUR EX SHIT IN MY FACE ALL THE TIME. I KNOW YOU’RE NOT OVER TWAT DAN.’
I almost laugh. ‘OH, HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT, DOM?’ I shout. ‘IS IT BECAUSE I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU THAT I’M NOT OVER HIM? MANY TIMES? IS IT BECAUSE OF THAT? IS THAT HOW YOU CAME TO THAT CLEVER DEDUCTION? CONGRATULATIONSYOU FUCKING POIROT PRAT.’
I think the Poirot insult might’ve been lost on the wind, but Dom responds immediately anyway. ‘DID YOU SEND HIM THAT SELFIE THEN? DID YOU MAKE HIM JEALOUS? WAS I OF USE TO – WAHHHHHHHHH – YOU?’
‘I DIDN’T ACTUALLLLLLLLLLLLY.’ We veer off to the right. ‘I BLOCKED HIMACTUALLY. BUT IT’S REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS EITHER WAY. YOU KNEW WHAT THIS WAAAAAAAAAAAAASBETWEEN US. I’M LEAVING IN LESS THAN A – ARRGGHHHHHHHHHH – WEEK! IT’S NOT LIKE THIS WAS EVER SERIOUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS.’
‘SOUNDS LIKE IT’S COME TO AN – WAHHHHHHHHH – END THEN DOESN’T IT, ALICE? I’VE SERVED MY PURPOSE FOR YOU HAVEN’T IIIIIIIIIIIIII? WHAT A SHITTY SAD END TO THINGS. YOU GO OFF AND FUCK PATRICK THEN AND I’LL GO FUCK MORE OF MY PASSENGERS – WARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!’
I am thrownback in my chair suddenly, as we pull up, back where we started. All five of us are breathless and silent. I yank at my strap, impatient to get out. I want to get away from this fury. Away from this humiliation. Away from Dom, away from Patrick, away from Isy, away from the pretentious dick on her arm. The belt around me comes loose at last and I climb frantically out of my seat.
As I stormaway, I make eye contact with the little girl from the queue. She gives me a pitying look and I mentally order her to never grow up.
