OK, that is a great surprise, well worth waiting for. Things are looking up at last.
‘I missed you so much, Eva, it was rubbish here without you.’ I sigh into her coat.
‘Rude,’ Mark muttersgood-naturedly beside me, but we both ignore him.
‘I’m sorry Al, I hadto stop off after work to get the balloon. I brought it on the tube and thesemiddle-aged white people glared at me the entire length of the Piccadilly Line.’ She giggles, delighted. Jeremy leans over, interrupting our moment, and I fight the urge to scowl at him.
‘Happy thirtieth, Alice, are you having fun?’ He smiles and it is such a boring smile. It’s the only way to describe it: boring.Even the adjective I choose for him most is a boring one: boring. Bleugh. I nod vaguely and pick my drink up from the table, taking a large gulp. My head is starting to swim. I wave at the disapproving waiter, gesturing for him to come over.
‘Yep, loads of fun, thanks for coming, Jeremy ...’ even though you weren’t invited, youfish-faced weasel, ‘... let’s get the two of you drinks.’I pound another shot. ‘I’m already well on my way to being wasted. You’ll have to do some doubles to catch up.’
‘Hum, well, actually Al,’ Eva puts her hand on my arm and looks at Jeremy, who gives her one of those coupley supportive nods.
Fuck you Jeremy, Eva and I used to have a secret language too.
She looks back at me, and shifts the weight from one foot to the other, awkwardly.‘Please don’t be annoyed, Al, but I’m not going to drink alcohol tonight.’
‘What!’ I say too loudly, outraged.
I catch Mark rolling his eyes beside us and Amelia barking a laugh. ‘But you have to drink,’ I say lowering my voice, but still distraught. ‘It’s my thirtieth birthday, Eva! I know that last hangover was awful and I’m not saying you should get so bad you puke on a gravestone again,but just start your sober thing from tomorrow or whatever.’
Eva pulls me away from the table and the Birthday Wanker balloon hits Jeremy in the face. I smirk as she pulls me out into the hallway.
‘Listen Al, you know I said I had a surprise?’ she says breathily.
‘I thought the balloon was my surprise?’ I say, giving the string a pleasing yank.
She laughs but it has the edge ofhysteria to it. ‘No, Al, it’s ... I can’t believe I’m saying this, but ...’ she trails off. I shake my head, and later, when I think back to this moment, I cannot believe I was so unprepared.
‘Alice ... I’m pregnant.’
I wait.
Pregnant with what? Anticipation? Pregnant with the evening’s possibilities? Because of course she cannot mean she is pregnant with child. No sir, thatis not an option.
We stare at each other.
She giggles. ‘Alice,I am pregnant.I’m pregnant.’
Again, my brain searches for an alternative meaning. She can’t bepregnant.That is impossible. Ridiculous, silly. No no no. That’s not what the plan is. Not now. Not yet. Not with fucking Jeremy. We were going to wait until we were both forty anddicked-out, and then she was going to marryher old neighbour, Reuben, and I was going to marry Adam from Year Nine. We hadn’t even made a plan for the kids part. It seemed so far off and unlikely.
Not Jeremy. Not now.
I am lost for words. I don’t understand how this can be right, how this could have happened.
Something in the pit of my stomach aches.
The silence goes on a beat too long before I can muster a smile.
‘Wow, Eva!’ I try to say as genuinely as I can. ‘That’s so ... exciting! Is it ... um. You’re ... keeping it?’
She giggles. ‘Honestly Al, I don’t think your Uber rating could take another trip back from a Marie Stopes clinic.’
I have not been able to get above a 3.5 since I escorted Eva home from that abortion, four years ago. The driver was deeply unimpressed with our backseat conversation,particularly the part where I said that our trip was ‘at least proof she’d been getting some’.
‘Wow!’ I say again, as enthusiastically as possible, adding quietly, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe it.’
‘Neither can I,’ she says a little shakily. ‘It wasn’t planned, and I know we haven’t even been together that long, but I don’t know ... It sounds weird, but I’m ... I’m happy.’ I look ather properly and she does indeed look happy. She is bright and shiny in a way I haven’t seen before. She keeps going. ‘I know it’s out of the blue, but you know how I feel about Jeremy. I’m in shock, I am, but I swear, we’re both really happy.’ She pauses. ‘I know this wasn’t the plan, Al, but he’s The One, and he’s going to make the best daddy ever ...’ The sentence chokes her up, and it chokesme too, as I remember the last time I heard Eva say ‘daddy’ – in reference to a hairy older man she wanted to get off with.
