Grandma and Nana did not get along. “That’s an argument that’s going to go back and forth for at least an hour.”
Vance swept the hair from the side of my neck, placing his lips by my ear. “I know something else that could go on for at least an hour.”
Thirty minutes later,after giving me two orgasms, Vance tucked himself back into his sweatpants, then helped me off the counter so I could shimmy my underwear back up.
I’d just smooth the wrinkles from my dress when the back door banged against the wall. Vance spun around, his cheeks going candy red. “Grandma, you’ve got to knock.”
“Why?” She stopped halfway into the kitchen, her hooded eyes pinging between us. “You two was doin’ it in the kitchen? Lord, have mercy, of all the places. Unhygienic as all get out,” she mumbled, shuffling toward the pantry. “You young kids will do the horizontal polka anywhere.” She took a pack of coffee and held it up. “I’m borrowing this.” Then she headed toward the still-open back door.
Vance gave her a suspicious look. “I better not catch you out in the backyard smoking.”
“Once I cross our property lines, you don’t get to tell me what to do. I moved up here for the baby, not to listen to you lecture me like some dad-blast-it televangelist.”
I stifled a laugh when she shut the door.
“I know she’s going to go over there and smoke.” He opened the back door.
I followed him into the yard. Sure enough, as soon as Grandma got to her back deck, she pulled a pack of cigarettes from a planter and lit one. I was pretty sure she’d stolen those from Margot’s boyfriend when they’d come over last weekend to play board games.
“I’m going to tell Dr. Lutz what you’re doing!” Vance shouted.
“Mind your own, boy.”
I took a seat on the glider, tilting back my head to soak in the warm sun filtering through the trees. “That’s exactly where you get your obdurate personality from.”
“Never tell her she’s obdurate. She’ll think you’re swearing at her. Just say stubborn.” He smiled before kissing my forehead. “I really love our life.”
“And to think it all started with an act of blackmail spurned from a bottle of red wine, a glue stick, and a copy ofWomen’s Health Magazine.”
He placed a hand on my stomach. “Let’s not ever tell her about the whole blackmail thing.”
“Of course not.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “I’ll tell her I fell in love with you when you called me easy.”
“And I fell in love with you when you gave me a black eye.”
We sat on the glider, enjoying the warm breeze and the song of the birds in the trees. Life honestly couldn’t have been more perfect. Which was probably why the dove perched in the tree above us thought it would be appropriate to let loose.
A massive load of bird shit splattered my rounded stomach. At that point, all I could do was shake my head. “Now she’s going to be cursed, too,” I said.
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, babe. Bird shit is a sign of good luck.”
And maybe it was because ever since I’d found Vance, I really was the luckiest girl in the world.
* * *
