23
Not only did I lie and call in sick to work today, but I spent the day lamenting seeing Elijah tonight. Eight hours after I bailed and I’m still aggravated with myself because this is as juvenile as it gets—running out the morning after and trying to avoid the awkward conversation ofwhy.
I’m frustrated, because I’m hurting myself and I believe, in the end, I’m hurting him, too. I now wholeheartedly believe in the saying “I met the right person at the wrong time,” and I just wish I could stick my head in the sand until he’s gone. I want to avoid the heartbreak and what-might-have-beenconversations.
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” blares from Dot’s apartment as I wait by the street. The irony doesn’t gounnoticed.
People pass by on the sidewalk: a mother with her two children, an elderly man and his Schnauzer. I count the random men who stroll past on cell phones or smoking cigarettes, and I wonder why it couldn’t have been any of them. Out of all the men in the world, there is no reason for the universe to see fit to throw me into a collision course with a man I can never truly have. Other than, the universe has made me herbitch.
Halogen headlights blind me when a car turns onto the street. My stomach kinks and knots as the Tesla pulls to the curb. Simon’s door opens, but before he can climb out, I have my fingers wrapped around thehandle.
“I’ve got it,” I say and climb into the back seat—theemptyback seat.He didn’t come.I sit stunned for a moment, worry pummeling throughme.
Simon glances in the rearviewmirror.
“I didn’t realize he wouldn’t be coming to pick me up,” I say softly. “I would’ve taken thetrain.”
The car maneuvers onto the street. “No worries,miss.”
I wring my hands in my lap. No matter how many times I squirm in the plush seat, my tense muscles won’t allow me to get comfortable. The drive seems to pass more quickly than usual, of course, that could be because I’m lost amongst my thoughts andworries.
The tires bump over the threshold of the Brooklyn Bridge, but instead of tensing, I stare out over the water, thinking about the way Elijah kissed me on this very bridge. The way he made me forget the fear pumping throughme.
The car winds around the exit ramp. Simon stops at the crosswalk, allowing a group of laughing, smiling people tocross.
Elijah’s high-rise is still half a block away, but I find myself reaching for the door handle. I’m so jittery, I just need out. I need to burn off some of this energy before I seeElijah.
“Thank you, Simon,” I say, opening the door and setting my foot on thecurb.
I’ve only taken a few steps when I hear Simon call my name. I glance at the car just as he leans down, looking through the openwindow.
“For what it’s worth, you’re the only woman I’ve ever seen himwith.”
“I…” I open my mouth, then close it again. “Thankyou.”
He nods, then drivesoff.
My heartbeat quickens with each step I take toward Elijah’s apartment. I round the sidewalk, and the automatic doors slide open, greeting me with the familiar scent of lavender andcitrus.
I walk through the lobby in a fog. Unaware that I’ve set foot on the elevator until I’m nearing the seventhfloor.
By the time I’m at Elijah’s door, my hands are shaking. I’ve never had to say goodbye when saying goodbye was the last thing I wanted to do. I knock, reassuring myself that I need a definitive end to avoid subconsciously lumping one of the best experiences of my life in among theworst.
The click of the lock causes my heart to jump into my throat. The door slowly opens to reveal Elijah in a pair of black gym shorts, no shirt. My gaze drifts over the deepVof his stomach and the tattoos on his chest. The muscles in his biceps and shoulder flex when he braces his arms on the doorway. When I finally reach his eyes, my heart tugs. There’s something soft and vulnerable in his expression, like he’shurt.
“You left me this morning,” hesays.
“I’msorry.”
“Whydid youleave?”
I drop my gaze to the floor, trying to find the words. “Can I comein?”
Elijah steps to the side, and before the door closes, his warm hands are on my cheeks, and he’s gently backing me toward the wall. “Look at me,” he says, lifting my face. “If this is about the party…” I watch his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows. “I don’t need that lifestyle anymore. You satisfy that spot I was so desperately trying tofill.”
“Elijah.” I attempt to pull free from his hold, but he holds fast. “Don’t…”
“Since I’ve met you, all you’ve tried to do was run from me.Stop.”
