“And hedidn’t?”
“Again,no!”
“Wow, maybe hedoeslike you.” She deadpans. “Maybe I waswrong.”
“I told you he wasn’t as bad as you made him out tobe.”
“Or… maybe he just had some kind of rash on his dick he didn’t want you to see. There’s alwaysthat.”
“And there’s that…” I rolled myeyes.
Noah dropped the basket to the ground and peeled his shirt over his head, his sweat-soaked shoulder muscles glistening in the bright afternoonsun.
Meg groaned. “Damn, he is nice to look at. I bet he pulls yourhair.”
“Anyway…”
“You coming to Alan’s lake party for the4th?”
“No.”
“That response was tooquick.”
“Well, I’mnot.”
“You didn’t even think aboutit.”
“There’s nothing to thinkabout.”
“Come on, music and the pontoonboat.”
I glanced over at Momma sitting underneath the oak tree with a sun hat on, reading. “Ican’t.”
Megsighed.
“Meg…” I didn’t want to go over it again. I didn’t want to be around people. As bitter as it made me sound, it bothered me to be around other people’s happiness because all it did was remind me of everything I waslosing.
“You can’t do this toyourself.”
“Since when have I likedparties?”
“It’s not about the party, it’s about living. It’s about taking a second to just breathe. Look, my mom ran herself ragged when my grandma fell ill. It took its toll on her. You know, she hasn’talwaysbeen an alcoholic. Your body needs a way to relax, and you’re not letting it,Hannah.”
I sighed, glancing back atNoah.
“Invitehim.”
“InviteNoah?”
“Yeah, why not? If he makes you feel better, invitehim.”
“Whydo you force me to dothings.”
“Well,” she smiled. “I always have…” That was true. Meg forced me to the Senior Prom, and into that dumb high school pageant. She was the one who had made me try sushi. “And I’m just trying to make sure I take care of you.” Exhaling, she placed her arm around me. “Look, you are doing everything you can for her, but you aren’t God. You have no control over whathappens.”
That was a bitter pill to swallow, one I struggled withgravely.
“You need some level of sanity to your life,” Megsaid.
