7
Hope
The smellof chocolate fills the kitchen and I grab at a cookie from the piping hot rack. Poppy swats the back of my hand with a wooden spoon.
"Ow!" I clutch my stinging hand to my chest. Shaking her head, Poppy props her hands on her hips. As if the crocs weren't bad enough—she's now wearing a bloody apron.
"Stop stealing food."
"Stop making cookies. I'm going to get fat," I say, grabbing onelightning fast and stuffing it insidemy mouth.
She scowls at me. "That'll be your own doing." Her eyes flick down my body. "Why are you dressed upanyway?"
"I'm not dressed up." I sweep my hand down the front of the short black dress I'm wearing. "I have a scarf on,” I argue. “A bitch can't be dressed up in a scarf."
"That wouldn't be for Finn's benefit, would it?"She arches a single eyebrow.
I roll my eyes. "I'm always this fabulous. Plus, he'd have to see me for that, and seeing as he never answers his door..."
"Have you thought that maybe he wants to be left alone?" Her eyes subtly shift from me to the baby monitor in front of her.
"Of coursehe wants to be left alone."
She frowns. "So..."
I cross my arms over my chest and huff. "You haven't seen him, okay? He looks like shit." Her gaze instantly fall to the floor. I know she feels crappy for not having seen him. That's not my intention. "He needs someone, even if he doesn't want someone." Finndefinitely doesn't want me around but fuck him. I'm not about to just sit back and watch him become another tragic statistic. He's better than that.
Shenods slowly. "I should talk to him."
She's not ready. I know it and she knows it. Hell, since she's had Patrick, she's pretty much not seen anyone but me.
"I've got Finn, you just do you. He's not going anywhere." Her eyes lock with mine and I know what she's thinking. She didn't think Brandon was going anywhere. Finn's different though. He might be moody and antisocial but he's got his shit together.
"How long are you going to keep doing this Hope?"
"Doing what?" I ask, feigning ignorance.
"Taking him food. Forcing yourself into his life." She shakes her head. "You can't save everyone you know. Me, Finn...Silas." My heart clenches at the mention of his name.
I straighten away from the counter and open the cupboards in search of someTupperware. "Yeah, well, we both know I didn't save Silas." Far from it. I tried though, god how I tried. And even when the cause was lost, Inaivelykepttrying because for me, the world started and ended with him. I find a clear container and place it on the counter. "I'm not trying to save Finn,” I say. “I'm just being a good friend.”
We both know I'm lying. I can't help but want to fix everyone around me.And let’s be honest, what else am I good for? The heiress to awhiskeyempire, socialite, best friend, daughter...that's it.
Poppy opens the slow cooker and spoons chilli into the plastic tub Iplacedon the counter. I pop a couple of cookies into another tub and seal the lid. "Say hi to him for me," Poppy says.
"Like I said, I never see him," I say, picking up both tubs and palming my car keys. Truthfully, I don't know why I do this to myself. I spend so much time making sure other people are okay, but what happens when I'm not okay? I go out and get blind drunk, only to wake up in a stranger’s bed because that fixeseverything, right? Well, that’s what I’d have everyone else believe anyway.
I leave Poppy's apartment and drive over to Finn's with this unsettled feeling swirling through my stomach. I pull up outside his apartment building and jump out, clasping the two small tubs in my hands. I push through the main door and climb the stairs to the first floor, pausing outside his door. I take a deep breath and drop to a crouch, placing the tubs on the mat the same way I have every day for the last week. Only this time, instead of knocking and shouting at him, I simply stand and turn to walk away. When I do, I collide with something warm and hard. Hands land on my waist, steadying me with a firm grip. Islowlylift my eyes to Finn's face
"You okay?" he asks, a small frown set on his lips.
"Yeah,” I nod. “I'm fine." His hands linger a beat longer and I find myself liking the way his broad hands span my waist. "I left you food," I say, jerking my head towards his door.
He nods before his handsslowlyslip away, dragging over the material of my dress in a soft brush. "Thanks.”
I'd usually have a quick come back for him, but not today. "You're welcome." I step away from him before ducking around his large frame. I walk down the stairs and I can practically feel him watching me walk away. Honestly, I feel like I'm caught in this cycle of depressing bullshit. Poppy has her own shit, Finn is a train wreck, and everyone else is too consumed in their own shit to notice anything going on around them. There's only one person I can call.I get in my car and take out my phone, dialling the number.
"Ginge!"Kyansays. "Did you change your mind?" I can hear the smile in his voice and that's what I like aboutKyan. He's a prick but he's always smiling and fuck knows I need that.
