Chapter Ten
Marisa
“Stand by Me”-Ki Theory
Keep yourself a constantin their mind. A text here. A call there. A tag on Facebook.I published my book today, but I haven’t even posted about it because I’ve been texting with Justin. Dirty texts.Verydirty, suggestive texts. I am subliminally keeping his thoughts centered on me, and, after a while, he’ll start to believe there is more to it. As long as he is wondering why the hell he can’t get me out of his head, well, I’m winning, he’s the pawn.
My phone dings.
I can’t wait until tomorrow to see you. What’s your apartment number?
311
I’m coming over.
I swallow. The pace of my heart steadily quickens as I glance around my apartment. I’m not ready for this yet. I go to text him back, but stop myself. Sometimes unplanned situations such as these are best. It’s unstaged so he’ll never think to question it. How could he? He’ll just think that I love James Patterson and Stephen King as much as he does. He’ll find it endearing that I have the same Ansel Adam framed on my wall, the same towel in my bathroom. Random selfies on Facebook do such a great job of showing you the tiny details of someone’s life. It’s the knowledge of those little details that make it more than easy to make someone believe you are their carbon copy. Same interests and hobbies, same decorating taste, and if you’re lucky, you can even end up with the same toothpaste as them. I tell myself it doesn’t matter if I haven’t had a chance to stop by Macy’s and pick up the same throw he has for my couch.
I quickly dress myself in an old Nirvana t-shirt, one with that stupid smiley face on it. Justin’s dog is, after all, named in honor of the lead singer. I apply just enough makeup to look like I’m not wearing any. I put Lorde on the stereo and then I sit and wait. Fifteen minutes later, my doorbell rings.
My excited pulse thrums through my ears with each step I take toward the entrance. The bell rings again and I jump before a soft smile settles on my lips. I unfasten the chain and it falls against the door in slow motion. My hand touches the cool doorknob and I take a moment to calm my rattled nerves. Slowly, I pull open the door. Justin’s leaned against the wall, one ankle crossed over the other, his head slightly hung. His blue eyes lift, trailing over my body. That look causes an inferno to combust, heat consuming me. With a smirk, he pushes away from the wall and walks past me without a single word, his fingers sweeping over my shoulder. I swallow hard and, before I have a chance to think any of the possibilities through, Justin grabs my shoulders and slams me against the wall, pressing his unforgiving body against mine as he pins my arms above my head.
“Fuck…” he says on a deep groan and every bit of woman inside of me melts, begging to bend to his whim. His fingers twitch around my wrists as his hips push against mine. “Look what you do to me,” he says, rolling his lip over mine. He’s hard. He’s so hard for me. One of his hands brushes down my arm. The gentle sweeping motion of his fingers sends chill bumps racing across my skin. I close my eyes when his fingers tangle in my hair. I fight a moan when he runs his nose along my throat, his warm lips barely grazing my flesh. Each hot breath that escapes his mouth fans over my skin, creating a blissful heat that eats away at me inch by blessed inch. “I want you,” he says before he kisses my neck. “Let me have you…”
I swallow. I fidget against the wall—against him. My one free hand trails over the defined muscles of his back and a familiar tug pulls between my legs. I want to give into him…
His lips travel up my throat, under my chin, and he releases my wrist, dropping his hand to my jaw and gripping it. He forces my face up. His eyes lock on mine before his lips slam over mine, and I grab the back of his head, deepening the kiss.
Music plays softly in the background. A gentle breeze blows through the apartment. I can’t help but think that this is how it is in the movies. Perfect and beautiful. My fingers slowly work underneath his shirt and I slide my palm across his smooth skin. Between kisses, we make our way to the bedroom, every so often banging into furniture or the walls. By the time we fall onto the bed together, I can feel the electric tension wrapping around us both, binding us and threatening to snuff out the last bit of oxygen in this room. His greedy lips fall to my neck. His hand travels to the waist of my jeans. Like a pro, he unfastens the button and slips his hand inside the material. Justin’s hand creeps underneath the lace of my thong so slowly, I’m certain it’s a form of torture. I toss my head back on the pillow. He nips at my neck, the stubble of his jaw scraping over my delicate skin. His ragged breathing against my throat threatens to drive me over the edge, and then…he touches me with a single fingertip, and just like a little slut, I whimper. I bite down on my lip because, my god, Justin Wild’sfingers are on me. The fingers that typed out all those beautiful words of love and redemption…
“Jesus Christ, you’re wet,” he groans against my throat and I smile. “Fuck,” he says as he sinks a finger inside of me.
My muscles tense and tremble. Heat crawls over me. My cheeks burn and this small part of me wants to cry because isn’t this beautiful? Another deep groan rumbles up his throat and I can’t help myself. I slip my hand under the waist of his jeans and grab him, his hot skin is like velvet under my palm. We’re both desperate for each other. Hands and mouths everywhere. He sits up and grabs the waist of my jeans to, no doubt, rip them down my thighs, but I shake my head.
“I... I don’t want to... ” my words are lost on a deep breath. “I’m not one of those girls... ”
His eyes narrow on me as his bottom lip rolls underneath his teeth. “It’s fine, babe.” He leans down and kisses me. “It’s fine.” And then he lies down beside me, pulling me onto his hard chest and sweeping his hand through my hair. “I don’t need that from you. All I need is to hold you... ”
I want to believe him, but I know, right now, he’s placing his pieces on the board and I can’t fall victim to any smokescreen he throws up. His fingers trail over my cheek. “Let me stay the night, I just want to sleep next to you.”
“Okay,” I say, and then I close my eyes and drift off to sleep listening to the sound of his heart underneath my ear, knowing a guy won’t hold a fuckbuddy the way he’s holding me.
