The corner of my lip kicks up. “And that’s how you’re supposed to feel.” Her brows scrunch with confusion. “And I care for you,” I say, “but I’m not a man capable of loving someone.” I drop my hand from her face and turn to leave the room.
“Please don’t leave me,” she begs.
“I’ll be back. I promise.” I open the door and gently close it, locking both deadbolts behind me.
When I first started this job, I felt guilty for doing this, but over time you can justify nearly anything. After the first month, I realized that love can make you do crazy things. And it is because of my love for Lila thatIdo these terrible things. Am I hurting people in the process of trying to save her? Yes, but as I said, with time you can justify anything.
These girls are mostly homeless drug addicts or prostitutes or both. They have no family, no money. They have nothing, and at least this way, I am giving themsomething. They may be taken against their will, but they’ll see in the months and years to come what they will gain is much more than the inevitable overdose or jail time or miserable death that was waiting for them outside of these walls. In a sense, I am helping tosavethem.
Whistling, I make my way down the corridor to the open part of the basement where the initial holding room is. Earl’s raspy laugh floats down the stairwell from the kitchen. I glance at the last locked door on my left before heading up the stairs, wondering what this new girl will be like. How easily will she break? The thing that bothers me more than anything, at least I think, is that I actually find this entire experiment fascinating. And what does that say about me? I’ll tell you, that I’m not as good of a person as I once felt I was.
I kick the basement door open. The entire kitchen is filled with cigarette smoke. Earl’s at the table, a Miller High Life open in front of him and aPlayboy—1989 edition—spread out in front of him.
“Lucy…number one eighteen,” I start. “You can have her whenever you like.”
“A’ight,” he says. He doesn’t glance up, just licks his fingers and turns the page. “Gonna start on the new one?”
I cross the kitchen, open the fridge, and grab a beer. “Yeah,” I say.
The top pops when I open it, the beer fizzing. I lean against the counter and glance around the dirty kitchen. I hate this place. It’s filthy. Infested with rodents and roaches, but I have no choice but to stay here. I’m needed to train these girls; however, I am not Earl’s fucking bitch and live-in maid. I keep my quarters immaculate. I’ve found that, although I can convince myself things which are morally wrong are in some ways right, I can’t convince myself that living in squalor like this is.
A roach crawls over the table and Earl flicks it across the room. Watching the insect flip back over and scurry under the pantry door, I take a sip of the cold beer. “Where’d you say you picked this one up from?” I ask.
“Some park.”
“Turning tricks, huh?”
Earl slowly turns around in his chair, draping his arm over the back, hisPlayboystill in hand. An uneasy smile curls across his lips. “Nah.”
I narrow my eyes on him and take a step away from the countertop. “What do you mean ‘nah’?”
He shrugs. “Got paid a bit of money to take her. Figured that ol’ saying, kill two birds with one stone and all that shit, ya know?”
“No…” My heart rate kicks into overdrive, flooding my body with adrenaline. “I don’tknow. Why don’t you fucking explain?” My jaw tenses.
“Aw, hell now, Max.” Earl tosses the magazine on the table. “This fucker wanted her gone, something about some insurance money and all. He paid me to kill her, but I ain’t that damn stupid. Figured I’d say I’d kill her. Bring her here, let you do your shit with her, then we’d sell her.” He grins, showing his yellowed teeth. “Double dipping.” He takes two fingers and feigns shoving them into something before sticking them inside his mouth and pulling them out with a disgusting slurp.
It takes everything inside me to not strangle him right here, right now. I take a quick swig of beer, swish it around in my mouth, and swallow before closing my eyes and dragging my hands down my face. “Earl.” I inhale. “Shit like that is how we get caught.”And we can’t get caught before I find Lila.“So what you are telling me is this girl has a fucking family? One that is most likely looking for her?”
He shrugs again, and now I can see worry etch itself over his stupid-looking face. “It was twenty grand…”
I shake my head. “I don’t give a flying shit, Earl. Is twenty-fucking-grand worth going to jail for?”
He hangs his head like a child who’s just gotten into trouble.Dumb fuck.I guzzle my beer and toss the can into the sink. “Like there’s shit we can do about it now,” I say with a groan. “She’s here, you just better hope to God you covered your trails.”
“I did,” he says as I turn to go back down into the cellar. “Used a gun from an estate sale.”
“Used…” I stop dead in my tracks. “Useda gun?”
He tosses his magazine down and stands. “Yeah, we found her ’cause of her Facebook status shit. Thought she was alone, but some guy was with her, so I had to shoot him. Twenty grand, Max. That’s lots of money.”
“You’re a dumb fucking bastard.” Pointing at him, I say, “You get caught, I will not go down with you. Get your fucking shit together, goddamn it.”
I yank the cellar door open and make my way down the steps with Earl right behind me. Once outside the door, Earl places his hand on my shoulder, moving himself in front of me. I hate when this fucker touches me. I really do.
“Let me go in first,” he says. He’s grinning from ear to ear. He lives for this shit right here. He’s a dumb inbred country bumpkin. He has no idea what the hell he is actually doing. All he knows is he makes money, so he can get high all day and drunk all night. That’s all that matters to Earl. “She ain’t ate in days.” His grin widens. “Bet she’s in a state.”
I shove the sick fuck in the back. “Open the fucking door already, would you?”
