So I remain motionless, my eyes closed as tightly as I can manage. Tears seep from my lash line. My throat tightens and I force myself to go down this deep dark hole. I imagine what I would be doing if I were at home: listening to the radio, dancing in my room with my friends. Maybe, if none of this had happened I’d be at a movie with my friend, Meg. And I hope if I lose myself in this imaginary world that was once real, maybe I won’t feel Earl’s rough hands all over me; his lips on my throat.
I struggle when he lifts my shirt up. Out of instinct I fight, and in return, I receive a hard punch in the face. Blood pools in my mouth and I swallow it down. Earl pins my arms to the bed and I cry. I cry hard, because no matter how much I try, I can’t ignore this.It’s not real. This is not real.I clench my thighs together. Earl slips his fingers between them, and I push my legs together harder.
“Don’t make it easy, if ya don’t want to,” he says. “I like it when you fight.” Spit lands on my cheek. “Makes my dick nice and hard. And I like a screamer. I’mma make sure you scream real good like.” He chuckles to himself. “Like it hurts,” he says with a sadistic growl as he rams his knee between my legs and pries them apart.
Please, God. Please…Even my internal voice sounds frightened and desperate. I don’t believe God intervenes in our lives, but at this moment, God is the only hope I have.God, please, please don’t let this man do this. Please let me forget it. Please save me. Or kill me if that is the only way to save me from this, but if they kill me, please make it quick.
The lock clicks. The door bangs open. “Earl!” Max’s voice is filled with rage.
I hear the cord to the light snap when he pulls on it. Even with my eyes closed, I can tell the light just flickered on. A cold breeze wraps around me when Earl’s jerked away. With him off of me, I open my eyes and scream. My shirt’s tucked behind my head, my breasts exposed. My pants are by my ankles.
“Fucking Earl, I told you—” Max’s next communication with him is a fist to the face. Earl staggers, swiping at his busted nose.
“Boy, I’ll beat yer ass.”
Max swings at him again and again, then grabs him by the shoulders and slams him against the cinder block wall. And it’s now that I notice—the door iswideopen.
The door is wide fucking open!
I grab my pants and yank them up before I jump off the bed and bolt out of the door. I hear Earl groan. There’s a thud.
“Ava, where you going, darling?” Max shouts.
I plead for my legs to carry me faster up the stairs. I trip not once, but twice. I hear him running after me. He’s on the stairs. I grab for the door and pull, but it won’t budge. I pull again, then push, and when I push, I fall into the kitchen, landing on my knees. My pulse has never raced like this in my life. It’s beating so hard I can’t even breathe. Those dogs come scurrying over, both of them snarling with their ears back. I can see the screen door leading to the outside and I struggle to push myself up, and just as I do, I feel a hand wrap around my ankle. Max yanks me back and my body bangs down several steps.
“Why?Whyare you making me do this?” he asks.
“Please. I won’t say anything.” I try to catch my breath. “Please…”
“I can’t.” He groans when he bends and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder and turning around to head back down the steps. “I can’t let you go. Sorry.”
I watch that screen door vanish from view, and I go limp because I can’t fight anymore. His fingers twitch over the backs of my legs as he carries me back into the room where Earl’s slumped over in the corner, blood pouring down his face.
Max throws me onto the bed like a ragdoll then points a finger at me, his expression hard and angry. “Don’t fucking try that shit again, understand,dear?”
I nod and he turns his attention to Earl. He grabs both Earl’s arms and yanks, knocking him over onto the floor. A muffled moan slips through Earl’s busted lip as Max drags him across the dirty ground and out of the room.
“Stay there, you piece of shit,” he says before walking back into the room and locking the door with a key he puts in his pocket. “Now, you see what I just did there, right?”
“Did you kill him?” I ask, because that’s all I can manage. This man saved me from being raped but won’t let me escape. I don’t understand any of it.
“No.” He wipes his hand over his mouth and paces. He’s agitated. Every few seconds he stops and glares at me, then resumes pacing, dragging his hands through his hair and mumbling to himself. “Okay,” he says. “The thing you need to just accept is that youaren’tgetting out of here. The sooner you do that, the better off you’ll be. I just saved you. I could have let him fuck you, but I didn’t because it’s not fucking right! That is one thing I won’t fucking tolerate.” He steps toward me, squatting in front of me. I lower my gaze to the ground to avoid looking him in the eyes. “Nope.” He grabs my chin and jerks it up. “You’re gonna look meinthe eyes. Got that? Anytime I talk to you, you need to look at me. I need to see your eyes to know you’re hearing me.”
His words are harsh and ugly, but his eyes, his face, his demeanor doesn’t match any of this and it confuses my already warped mind.
“I saved you, didn’t I?” he says.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He nods and releases his hold on my chin. “If you’ll just…” He shakes his head and inhales. “Just stay here and…well, it’ll be okay eventually. I know it’s fucked up to think, but you can trust me, Ava.”
“I’m scared to trust you.” My breath hitches because I have no idea why I said that out loud.
His eyes narrow on mine. His jaw tightens and he stands, pacing again. “You’ve trusted menfarworse than me,” he says, anger and hatred flaming behind his black eyes. I know he’s talking about my father. I feel it.
“You don’t know him.”
Max tosses his head back, laughing. “I know all I need to know.” His lips lay flat across his face, and he gives me a stern look. “Do you love him?” he asks. That question catches me off guard. I don’t answer him and he grows agitated. “Do you love him, Ava—your father? It’s a simple question.”
