She smiles at me, tears gathering. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come gimme a hug, baby.”
She stands just as I round the couch and pulls me into a fierce hug only mothers can give. I squeeze her back, blinking the pressure in my eyes away.
I didn’t even think to look into who Nut hired, because I knew whoever it was, was damn near gonna have top secret security clearance to be around his kids. But damn… the way I’m floored, maybe I should have.
“Whatchu doing here, Ma?”
“Oh, a little bit of this and that… first, Sergie told me the Center’s expanding, and they have their hands full and can’t keep Anaïs and Denver. Then Katrina emailed me this long email about how Kareem is a father now, and some girl keeps calling herself his future wife and popping up. But I really decided to come after Esha told me Casey had been shot. It was heavy on my heart to come see about my other son, but when I got here, everyone told me you were in the wind.”
Ms. Sheryl rubs her hand on my arm, deep concern etched on my face. “Are you okay, Rahshad?”
In the Birch, I saw most of the niggas we hung with didn’t have good moms or dads, and that’s if they were around. Ms. Sheryl worked nights at Saint John’s as an orderly, and took me in with open arms once me and Sean started hanging together. I was at her house if Set and Nut couldn’t take me, and even though she knew who my people were, who Nut was, and knew the shit Sean was getting into, she never banned me from hanging with him, and even slapped her brother, Tati’s father Sergio, upside the head when she found out he tried to hem me up.
Ms. Sheryl was one of the good ones, and my heart always ached for her when I remembered Sean was taken from us, and she skipped town right after. I told her his death didn’t go unanswered, and besides a yearly Happy Birthday and a money transfer on Sean’s, I hadn’t seen her since.
I could never lie to her, though. Out of everyone, probably she and Sean knew the most about me struggling with my mental. “I wasn’t… I be having good and bad days, now. Been talking to a shrink, taking some meds, so… I ain’t gave up yet, Ma.”
Approval shines as she smiles at me. “And you won’t. They’ve been quiet too long, so Ima go see what they’re up to… she’s asleep, and she’s a little hellraiser like her daddy, but I’ll deal with it since I know you’ve been away.” She winks at me beforewalking out the room, and all of a sudden I don’t see shit but the little bassinet at the end of the couch.
My feet guide me to my lil shorty. She’s knocked the fuck out, on her back, paci hanging out of her mouth. Steady breaths rising and falling in her chest. Little fists clenched.
I gently pick her up and sit on the couch, catching her paci before it falls. Her eyes flutter open, unfocused and disoriented before she opens that little mouth and starts hollering like she’s on fire.
Neither Anaïs nor Deuce were this fucking loud. Like a fucking alarm. Tears spring from her eyes as she gets louder and louder.
When I try to put in her paci she doesn’t take it. In fact, she moves her head almost violently to the side.
“Aight, mamas. I get it,” I murmur, placing it on the arm of the couch. I hold her up so she’s facing me, bouncing her slightly.
“Yo ass loud as fuck to be so little.”
She quiets down some like I offended her, and a chuckle escapes me. “Oh, you mad, pretty girl?”
Sadé being so close to my face, I easily see the features she got from Mace. The lower half of her face is all Mace.
It’s wild though. She lowkey favors me too. I guess it was written for me to be her dad.
She quiets a little more, peering at me curiously.
“You done yelling? I mean damn, I know you missed me, but–”
All I see is gums as she grins widely at me. Her eyes go to my mouth, and her little hands reach for me.
She likes my voice.
It’s a longshot, since I know Mace is pissed, but fuck it. I ain’t got much time anyway. I start singing the chorus to By Your Side and Sadé lights up even more, kicking out her feet and reaching for me.
Damn… she knows my voice. That means she’s heard my song for her.
I bring her closer, letting her hand pull at my lips. Her smile falls slightly, until I nip at her fingers, then the most beautiful sound I ever heard bubbles out of her.
“I missed you too, shorty. Don’t trip; next time I dip out you coming with me.”
Sadé seems to like my statement, if the spit bubble she blows is any indication.
Denver plops down next to me on the couch. “Can I come to your show tonight? Ima need two tickets though.”
“Nah, youngin. You got like six more years before you can pop out with me.”
