“I had questions, so I asked ‘em. You said you was so worried about them birds thinking you were a lesbian. Now they think you bagged a rapper. Isn’t that an upgrade?”
I fold my arms and cut my eyes at his smug ass. “I told you, you ain’t the only rapper I know.”
“Oh yeah? Who you know Mace?”
I look out the window and roll my eyes. “Don’t try to change the subject. You’re supposed to sit there and shut up like all the other dads.”
“I always pictured myself as a hands-on father.”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
“You being a bitch is kinda better than you being starstruck. I wonder what’s the next step.”
“Bitch?!” I screech, turning in my seat.
I clench my fist and sock his muscly arm, hurting myself more than him.
Shaddy has the nerve to laugh. Oh, aight.
I grab the fucking steering wheel and yank it toward me.
“MACY WHAT THE FUCK?!”
He overcorrects and we end up in the left lane. Cars are honking. He’s screaming.
I’m cackling.
When he settles at a red light, he’s breathing all hard and shit, which makes me laugh more.
“What the fuck is your problem, bro?!”
I point at him. “Now you know. Call me a bitch and I’ll kill us both.”
I turn the music up, and ironically it’s his latest single. I rap along as he drives us to wherever, getting extra animated at the bridge, and just as I thought, he can’t keep that scowl on his face for long.
“No cheese on her burger,” he directs the waiter, who rushes off before I can correct him.
We’re at this burger place sitting on the street. The picnic tables are painted in primary colors, and that, coupled with the cloudless spring sky, brings a smile to my face.
“I can’t believe you almost killed us ‘cause I called you out on your attitude.”
I shrug and pick up my phone. “You better believe it, bucko. And there’s nicer ways to call me out on shit. I’d never call you out of your name, and if we’re gonna be friends, you’re gonna have to do better, Shaddy.”
His huge hand covers my phone, so I lift my eyes. “You right… my bad. I won’t call you out your name again, shorty.”
I nod and put my phone all the way down. “Good.”
He smirks at me then and leans closer. “So we friends, then? I’ve been upgraded?”
Our waiter comes and sets down my bacon cheeseburger, sans cheese, and his three by three, with a bucket of fries to share.
“Keep me away from my dairy and I’ll demote yo ass right back to a rapper who won’t leave me alone.”
I dig right in, since I’m starving. My burger’s still delish without the cheesy goodness, but I’ll never tell him that. It’s bad enough he’s taking this bd thing way overboard.
I also keep my moans to a minimum. After the first couple of unreadable looks, I figured I was enjoying my food a little too much. But damn, almost dying leaves a bitch famished.
Yeah, I can call myself that. Tough titty.
