He's contemplative for several seconds before his lips move as though he's speaking, but I can't hear anything.He turns and walks back toward the team without another word.What did he say?I replay the movements of his lips several times before realizing it was...Eve.Della.Davenport.
Calm down heart.Just calm the hell down.
....................................
Ada still hasn't shown up at 4:30pm, so I get on my Zoom visit with Nathan.Nathan is an attractive man.I estimate that he's around 34 years old.He has sandy blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and a friendly smile.I've been seeing Nathan since the Masons first adopted me.My first appointment with him was literally six days after I moved into the Mason's home.I get it though.Even then, I understood.I hadn't exactly been a model foster child.Classified as aggressive when pressured and a runner by my various case workers.
Nathan helped me to see how good I had it with the Masons and I think he's a big part of why I stayed put and behaved myself.Nathan is a clinical psychologist who specializes in hypnotherapy.He's actually Dr.Miller to most people but he told me to call him Nathan years ago and it does feel more comfortable, so I still do it.I might even call us friends at this point.
Nathan is already on the call when I open the link.His smile is one that gives me comfort and reminds me of home.
"Hey there, butterfly."He has called me butterfly since, as he says, I transformed into a mature and capable woman.
"Hey Nathan.How are things?"
"Things are good here.How's school?"
"School's good.I earned one of the exemptions in my real analysis, class so that was pretty exciting."
"Way to go, Eve.I knew you would do it.I'm proud of you."
"Thanks.I've made some friends too."
Something flickers in his gaze, but it's gone before I can decipher it.
"That's great, Eve.Who are these friends?"
"Well, you already know about Vaughn and Eli, and I know we've discussed the problems with the girls on the team, but I met the brother of one of the girls.Do you remember Ada?"
"Of course I do.You met her brother?"
"Yes.Adam.It turns out that we've been in the same Real Analysis class all year and we ran into one another last week.Actually, we literally ran into one another.Or rather, I ran into him, and we ended up going to lunch.We've been hanging out quite a bit and he kind of set his sister straight on what a bitch she had been."
Now, Nathan is...glaring?Yes, glaring...at me and he appears to be rubbing the color off his pencil with a tight twisting grip.
"Anyway, it turns out that Ada isn't all that bad.She feels terrible about how things went for me when I first got here.She's trying really hard to earn my forgiveness."
The real conversation about my relationship with Adam can wait for another day.Nathan seems to be battling with something and I'm just not sure that it's the right time.History suggests that he won't be too happy about it.Thinking back on our chats, he's never been very happy about me making new friends.I think this might have something to do with my past.He knows there's a troubling history surrounding how I ended up in foster care, but I don't know how much he knows about me before I came to live with the Mason's.He's never brought it up and I've never asked.
Nathan and I talk about the anxiety and my medication and, how well it's working and how often I'm having to take it.He asks if I'm keeping up with the Masons and he lets me know that he is in regular contact with them.Our session is over before I know it and we get the alert that we have two minutes left on the call.Before he exits the session, Nathan warns me about meeting new people and tells me to be wary of large groups as this is a trigger for my anxiety.
"Think about how embarrassing it would be to have a panic attack in front of a group of your peers.I think it's best that you avoid these situations.You've been doing great, and you have Vaughn.Remember, it's better to have one great friend that you can trust rather than a horde of people who don't really know you."
"Right.I understand.Thanks, Nathan."
"I'll see you next week, Butterfly.And remember, you can call me or text me anytime.I miss talking to you."
"I remember."
"I'll see you next week."I had actually forgotten that Nathan's coming to Austin next week.He has some sort of conference here, so he's coming to my game and then we're supposed to go to dinner.I can already see this idea going over like a fresh case of herpes with Adam.
It isn't until the call is disconnected that I realize I'm not alone in the wide cushioned seats.Adam is standing in the aisle, watching me.
"Who is Nathan?"
This can't be good.He looks pissed.Do I tell him the truth?Do I have another option?I can't tell him Nathan's a friend; he might kill him and I'm not even sure how much he heard.He may have already realized that I'm seeing Nathan in a professional capacity if he's been standing there long enough.
I clear my throat before speaking."Nathan is my psychologist."
