30
ben
Iwake up alone. Not even the cats are sleeping with me. I had gotten used to falling asleep with my arms wrapped tightly around a snoring Emily while Buffy and Spike surrounded us. It’s rare that I wake up after Emily, and I wonder if she’s still in the apartment.
I strain my ears but don’t hear anything.
My phone was discarded with my jeans the night before. I groan as I lean over the side of the bed and pull my phone out of the back pocket.
I see several notifications, including new messages. When I open them, I quickly realize that they aren’t from Emily. I rub my eyes as if I could erase the image of the message from my mind.
I knew she had been too quiet, and it was only a matter of time before she would start messaging me again. I need to put an end to this and make sure Melissa knows without a doubt that we are never, ever getting back together.
I pull on my hair as the catchy song echoes in my sleepy mind. Maybe I should play the song on repeat so she catches my drift.
Reluctantly, I reply to Melissa’s message and groan at the mess I created.
I check my other messages, and sure enough, there is one from Emily saying she went to hot yoga and she’d be back for lunchtime. She added some kissy face emojis at the end of her message, making me smile.
I shoot her a quick reply to let her know I saw her message. I’m thankful to be alone as a goofy smile spreads across my face. I know I’ll see Emily again soon, but I miss her already.
I’m shocked by how much I miss her. We’ve only been together for a few months, but it feels like years. In the privacy of our apartment, we’ve found a sanctuary to delve into our emotions and deepen our connection. Though my feelings for her are intense, everything feels right. My life feels like it’s all clicking into place for the very first time.
Her confession last night made me realize how little control we have over our lives. Had I not been in a relationship when I met Emily, we would likely have ended up together. I remember the day we met clearly. It was the first time I was disappointed at being in a relationship with Melissa. To make up for the guilt, I threw myself into our relationship. I know I’m responsible for our ruin; it was inevitable from the start.
It appears the universe is offering me a do-over, and I intend to make the most of it. It’s a terrifying sensation, a gut-wrenching blend of fear and a fragile, flickering hope. I am determined not to fuck things up with Emily.
I hop in the shower and get ready, barely resisting the urge to rub one out to thoughts of Emily on her knees—again. I needed to get a move on so I could be back by the time Emily returned.
Pulling out of the driveway, I notice a familiar silver sedan parked at the end of the street. I drive past it slowly, making a note of the license plate, and head to the cafe.
Iwalk into the small cafe and spot Melissa sitting against the wall in the back. I make my way over to her and suppress the grimace when she waves me over excitedly. It is probably misleading to agree to meet with her, but what I have to say needs to be done in person. I should have said it months ago.
“Ben! Hi! Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice.” Melissa stands up as if to hug me, but I promptly sit down. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about the meeting.
“Hey, Melissa.” I offer a tight-lipped smile as she takes her seat across from me.
She fiddles with her coffee cup, suddenly unsure of herself.
“Listen, we need to talk.” The words sound harsh even to my own ears, and I suppress a groan.
“What is it?” Melissa sits up straight, hope shining in her eyes.
“I should have done this months ago, but… Anyways, it’s over, and I don’t want to keep stringing you along.”
I watch as the words sink in and resist the urge to reach over the table to comfort her. Melissa and I have so much history together, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her. But I know that not having a clean break has been doing so much damage.
“Oh.” Melissa sinks back in her seat. “I see.”
“You can keep the ring,” I offer as an olive branch.
It was the wrong thing to say as anger morphs her features.
“Keep the ring? Of course, I’m keeping the ring!” Melissa stands up, and the next thing I know, she’s pulling off the cap of her coffee and tossing its contents on my face.
I’m shocked into silence as the other patrons gasp at Melissa’s action. She slams the empty cup on the table and storms off.
A barista walks over with a handful of paper towels, a mop, and a grimace. I accept the paper towels gratefully and try to clean up the mess. Thankfully, it was iced coffee, so I didn’t have to worry about getting burned by scalding liquid.
