Plus, I’m not ready or in the mood to tell everyone about our breakup.
So, here I am.
Alone.
On New Year’s Eve.
Crying while eating my favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream and drinking from the bottle of my favorite pinot noir, surrounded by piles of tissues as if they could shield me from reality.
I figured I could give myself at least one night to feel sorry for myself before I picked up the pieces of my life and moved on.
But tonight, I would allow myself to feel my heart as it broke into a million pieces.
Reluctantly, I flip the channel to tune into the live show of Times Square. The crowd looks on with hope and excitement as they wait for the ball to drop. I’ve always loved this part. The countdown until the ball drops has always brought me so much joy. Usually, Logan would be right there with me to share a toast and a sweet kiss as the clock struck midnight, signaling the end of another year and the beginning of a new one.
But tonight, I’m alone, and instead of champagne, it’s wine.
The crowd at Times Square becomes boisterous as the clock shows the last minute before midnight. Their bright smiles and exuberant mood did nothing to lift her spirits. If anything, the joyous atmosphere made the weight of her predicament feel heavier, like a weighted blanket.
I grab a fresh tissue and wipe my tears away. Blowing my nose and balling the tissue up to throw at the TV. It’s the best I can do, given the circumstances.
The camera pans around the crowd and returns to the giant ball, which is now the focus of everyone’s attention. Finally, the moment everyone has been waiting for arrives. The ten-second countdown. The noise escalates as the crowd joins in exuberantly counting down the seconds.
10…
9…
8…
7…
6…
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
I raise my glass of wine in a mock toast and take a generous sip.
“Happy New Year,” I murmur.
In the morning, I will deal with the aftermath of what the ending of this relationship entails.
Like moving out.
Fuck. Me.
2
emily
Iwoke up bleary-eyed and hungover on New Year’s Day, though not because I had too many glasses of champagne to ring in the new year, but because I ended up finishing the entire bottle of wine by myself.
