Page 88 of Letting Go
He chuckles, low and lazy, his lips brushing my forehead. “All of it. But mostly to forever.”
I tilt my head back to look at him, this man who saw every broken piece of me and never flinched. “Forever was the easiest yes of my life.”
He kisses me then, soft and deep and slow, like he’s got all the time in the world.
That evening, our house smells like cinnamon, coffee, and too many kids eating too much sugar. It's chaos. Glorious, backyard, sticky-fingered, dog-chasing chaos.
We’re hosting a Mother’s Daybrunchatnight, because none of us sleep properly anyway, and because “brunch” just sounds more put-together than “everyone shows up in stretchy pants and drinks wine while children scream into the void.”
The mothers; Lorna, Hannah, and me, are sprawled across the sectional like queens of a very loud, very snack-based kingdom. There’s a half-eaten fruit tart on the coffee table and a suspiciously sticky sippy cup wedged under my thigh, but we don’t care. This is sacred space. The men can deal.
Josh, Lorna’s husband, has been training Caden and Eli for years in the ancient art of Dad-ing. He’s a legend in cargo shorts. Knows how to swaddle ababy, change a diaper with one hand, and cut grapes with surgical precision.
He also takes immediate, personal offense whenever anyone dares to say, “Oh, are you babysitting the kids today?”
“They’re my goddamn kids,” he’ll bark, eyes flashing like some suburban dad gladiator. “How thehellcan I be babysitting if theycame out of my wife?”
Icon.
Out in the yard, he’s currently refereeing a high-stakes game of tag while Caden and Eli are running around like over-caffeinated golden retrievers, being tackled by children with wild abandon. Roxy and Ruby are chasing bubbles. There’s a sprinkler going even though no one planned for water play. Everyone isdrenched.I love it here.
Caden catches my eye through the patio doors and winks. My heart flips the same way it did when I walked down the aisle to marry him.
My first wedding had been in a quickie chapel followed by a reception in hungover land. My wedding to Caden, was the complete opposite. We had a private ceremony in his parent’s villa in Italy. There wassomedrama, but at the end I got to marry my best-friend, in front of the most important people in my life.
Caden’s mom got an ear infection in Capri and couldn’t join us this year, so she decided to sip something sparkling and enjoy her Mother’s Day with the man who made her a mother. She’s class in alinen dress, told a guilt-ridden Caden not to worry, that she has two other sons who can’t keep a woman longer than a weekend, and they can visit her for once.
It’s funny. The lottery I lost with my own mother, I somehow won with my mother-in-law. No wonder Caden is so emotionally literate. He was raised by a woman who knows how to mother.
As for mine...
Last Keira and I heard, she found out about Dad’s other family with his secretary and the sons he actually wanted.
She’s enjoying life with her half of the estate, apparently happier than ever, with zero interest in the daughters she had.
But I don’t care. Not anymore. I have a career, and a family I chose, which is messy, loud, and real. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I’ve got everything I need, and for the first time in forever, I couldn’t be happier.
