Page 17 of Recipes for Life
"Your girlfriend won't mind?" I had tried so hard to keep my mouth shut, but I couldn't. I'm not sure why I even bothered to ask; I wanted to slap my hand to my forehead in embarrassment.
I saw the sides of his mouth twitch, and I could tell he was trying not to laugh.
"No, Odette, no girlfriend."
"Hmm."
Not liking where this conversation was going, I turned on my heel and mumbled something about texting him tomorrow to figure out a plan with Lux. I didn't even bother waiting for his reply, I just bolted.
Turning down the street to head home, I cursed myself up and down.
Oh, your girlfriend won't mind. Like, what the heck is wrong with me?
Being around Murphy threw me. The Murphy I remembered was a dominant male who was loud spoken and, towards the end, extremely over-the-top. This Murphy was quiet, reserved,taking off work.
I needed a glass of wine.
Chapter 12
Murphy
There she goes...I couldn't help but watch Odette as she made her way out of the backyard and into her car.
She's so beautiful.I couldn't help the ache I felt in my chest at seeing her and being so close. She looked happy and healthy, and that's all I want for her.
My mind remembered the last time I had seen her somewhat up close. It had been about six months after our divorce, and she was at the grocery store close to my mom's. I swung by so I could stock up on Lux's favorite snacks for the evening, and I noticed her up ahead in the aisle I was about to go down. She lookedsick—her face was pale, she had lost a significant amount of weight, and her lips looked like they were permanently etched in a frown.
It had stopped me dead in my tracks.How could I have been so stupid? How could I have hurt the one I loved in such a horrible manner?Even though I wanted to go to her and start a conversation, beg on my knees for forgiveness, I could see that wasn't what she needed. I could seeIwasn't what she needed.So, I walked away, and I've kept my distance for the last three years.
"Dad?" Lux's scratchy voice called from the walkie-talkie in my back pocket.
Some might find it weird that we communicated by walkie-talkies, but the yard was big, and I had grown the gardens, so it was easy to lose a six-year-old in here, especially when she wanted to hide from me. It also allowed her to "page" me when I was out working in my workshop if she needed me. Although I didn't do a lot of work whenever I had Lux because I wanted her to know she was my focus. I never wanted to give her a reason to doubt me.
"You okay, baby?" Hearing her sick voice made my heart clench, and the feeling of helplessness I sometimes felt when it came to my daughter almost brought me to my knees. I was so close to losing her forever, and not because of Odette, but because of me.
"Can you bring me some popsicles?"
I changed my trajectory from my shop to the mini house I shared with Lux. Memories always sat in the back of my mind. I suppose some people wanted to forget all their past mistakes, sweep them under the rug, but I chose to live with mine. I let them simmer to remind me of what I lost, and what I could stand to lose again.
Memories of the weekend after my divorce was finalized came to the forefront during my walk. I remembered going into the office after my divorce was finalized, seeing the two colleagues I had been close with, Steven and Brian, setting up streamers and balloons, laughing at each other. I had only caught the tail end of the conversation.
"I don't know why he's so upset; he basically gets to offload his wifeandhis kid." Brian shrugged. "That bitch didn't even want child support. He’s basically single again and he can get his dick wet whenever he wants."
"You're telling me... What I wouldn't give to get rid of Jasmine so easily," Steven yammered after him.
Bitch... Get rid of... Dick wet...
I lost it. Before I could rationalize what I was doing or what had happened, Brian laid bleeding on the floor of my office, clutching his nose, partially screaming. I had Steven pushed up the against the wall with my arm over his neck, snarling in his face, "Don'tevertalk about my wife and kid again."
"You mean,ex-wifeand kid, you fucking psycho?You broke my nose!" Brian's voice was garbled, and I pictured him choking on his own blood. I couldn't help but smile briefly, even as his words hit me.
Ex-wife.
I released Steven and told them both to get the fuck out.
I sat at my desk and started packing everything up that was important. Then, I sent a few emails, including my resignation letter, and never looked back.
Chapter 13
