Page 7 of Dance with Me on New Year's Eve
A heavy sigh escaped me as I reluctantly opened the email tab in my browser. Nothing but newsletters I’d probably never get around to reading. Following another one of my recent New Year’s goals—resolutions were kind of my thing—I spent a few minutes mostly deleting emails even though they looked interesting. I wouldn’t read them anyway. I should probably unsubscribe, but … what if I changed my mind and wanted to read them later?
I shook my head, trying to clear out all the mental junk, and then my phone pinged with a text.
Jeff:Should I assume from your silence that you are busyreading over the plan?
I stretched out my jaw before I could tighten it and cause more pain. The nerve of that man! He’d sent an email this morning with a list of links to project management courses and books and asked when I’d be able to finish them all. I’d promptly reminded him he was not my boss. And I already knew the basics of project management; I’d taken an online course after getting hired as the resort’s event planner. Jeff didn’t respond to my message until later in the day, when he sent a ten-page project plan document. Shock and outrage warred within me, and eventually I gave up and decided I was done putting out fires today—and I wouldn’t read his plan tonight. Work was over. Time to relax.
Roxy:I’m off the clock.
I typed “sorry, not sorry” but then deleted it reluctantly. I wanted to tell him off, reminding him we were supposed to be collaborating. But even more than that, I wanted tonotengage with him tonight—to not think about work at all. I sighed and turned my phone on silent.
TheCast Afaronline forum beckoned, and I bit my lip while waiting for it to load. Sometimes the internet was slow here in Shipsvold, one of the hillier parts of the state. When the forum loaded, I eagerly clicked over to my notifications. Only one comment and three reactions, and one was a thumbs down emoji! How could that be? I’d posted such a great, well-supported analysis last night. Nothing from CastGamer55 either. I frowned while reading the sole reply to my monologue; it was from some smug guy who seemed more interested in the character’s appearance than the events and emotions surrounding what happened to her.
My fingers hovered above the keys just long enough for me to stop and remind myself to take a breath. I should give myself some space before firing off my hot take on Mr. Mansplainer’scomment.
Reluctantly, I clicked away from the post and skimmed over the other conversations.
Thirty minutes later, restlessness crept in. My mind cycled through all the things I could do tonight—because I wasn’t the early-in-bed type—but nothing sounded appealing.
I sighed.
The trouble with my life was that although Ilovedstaying home and being on my own with my various interests and my job … every now and then, it felt stale. I was reluctant to call it boredom or loneliness because I didn’t like to think of myself as experiencing those feelings. It would mean something waswrongwith my life. Something like …
Fine. I can face facts. There was plenty wrong with my life. But it’s the best I could do. I had plenty of comforts that others didn’t. A decent job, an apartment, parents who weren’t divorced, enough money for food and clothes, fairly good health, and all that. That should be enough, right? Not to mention my beloved show and fan forum, which I’d been fairly obsessed with since the pilot two years ago.
Something nagged in the corner of my brain though.
Something I didn’t want to think about.
Something silent, but it was there, stronger at some times than others.
I closed my eyes briefly, and there it was. That nagging feeling or whisper or … something. I couldn’t even—
My eyes flew open as the new message ping sounded on my computer.
A message from CastGamer55.
I clicked so eagerly that I almost accidentally selected the button to start a video chat. Whew, that was a close one. It frustrated me to no end that a user couldn’t just turn off that feature altogether. Still, I smiled while reading his message.
CastGamer55:Your analysis yesterday was spot on. I just don’t have the energy to reply again tonight, sorry. It wasa long day.
SawyerRox4: Not a good day?
His green availability dot was visible, so maybe he would respond soon. To avoid staring at the screen, I set the computer aside, leaving it open as I rose to my feet and stretched my limbs. I should grab a snack at least, since I missed dinner. The whole day had been a train wreck from start to finish.
When I returned with a handful of snacks to quiet my growling stomach, my eyes landed on the screen. Finally, a reply.
CastGamer55:No. A long workday with a frustrating colleague, among other things.
SawyerRox4:I can definitely relate, if it makes you feel better
CastGamer55:It doesn’t.
I reared back.Oh.He tended to be pretty direct but had always been kind in the past. I bit my lower lip, unsure how to respond.
SawyerRox4:Oh, ok. I didn’t mean to offend you
CastGamer55:You didn’t.
