“They need you out there already?”
That’s it. That’s his easy out. He could just tell her that the job is going to start sooner than he thought, that they’re making him go, and she’ll understand that, of course she would, but . . . he just can’t bring himself to lie, not so completely.
“No, I . . . I want to go. When Paolo was here, he said they could get me started a little bit early and I think it’s a good idea. I might as well get over there, get settled, experience Greece a little before work really gets going.”
“So . . . you want to call this off early?”
“Yeah . . . I guess . . . yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
“Okay, if . . . if that’s what you want.”
“It’s . . . fuck, it’s not what Iwant.”
“Then why?” she asks. “I don’t understand, if . . . Why wouldn’t you stay as long as you can? I thought . . . I thought we were on the same page about this.”
“We were.”
There’s silence for a moment and then another. She holds his eyes with hers and he wants to look away, but he can’t.
“Okay,” she says finally. “Okay, then, I guess. Do you . . . do you need help with anything? I . . . I could give you a ride to the airport or . . .”
“No, shit, no, I don’t . . . You don’t have to . . . fuck.”
“I . . .” She shakes her head. “Did I do something? I thought we talked about it. I thought we were okay?”
“We were. We are. I . . . I just can’t stay anymore.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I. You think I have everything figured out? I don’t haveanythingfigured out. I’m just taking everything a day at a time.”
“That’s not what it looks like from here.”
“Yeah, well, I’m a good liar or haven’t you noticed?”
“So it was all just a lie?”
His silence must be enough of an answer for her. Shaking her head, fighting back the tears, she tries to push past him, but his hand darts out, fingers closing around her wrist in a loose bracelet.
“Bianca, please.”
“What, Xavier? There’s nothing else to say.”
“The only lies I’ve been telling this entire time have been to you.”
“Oh . . . okay then, that makes everything clear.” The sarcasm rolls off her tongue, but then she softens. “I guess . . . I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Really, I must have misunderstood . . .”
“No, Jesus, you’re so fucking smart, B, except when it comes to this. Both of us are such idiots.”
“I never should have agreed to this.”
“You never would have if I just told you the truth from the beginning.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“Xavier, please, I just . . . I can’t stand this anymore, please just tell me . . .”
