“Oh, slim to none.”
“Still gotta try though.”
“And keep trying until we win.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
They clink their glasses together and down them in one gulp.
“And what about Bianca?”
For a second he thinks about telling Paolo everything. Bianca has Miranda to confide in, why shouldn’t he have someone, but . . . no, he can’t, because saying this shit out loud, admitting to anyone what he’s feeling would make it way too real and he can’t risk that, not now, probably not ever.
“Her life is here. We’re . . . gonna figure it out, but for now, it’ll just be me.”
“Dangerous thing to do, you know, leaving her behind.”
“I trust her.”
“No reason not to, but in my experience, women like that, they deserve to be prioritized.”
“I know she does.”
“That much is clear. But . . . but I’ve never seen you like this before, Xavier. I’ve never seen you lose focus.”
“I haven’t . . .”
“It’s not a bad thing. In fact, I’m thrilled it’s finally happened. It makes you human. The work we do, it’s frustrating and usually unsuccessful in any measurable way. Having a life outside it – hell, just having a person who gets it – is incredibly valuable. She’s welcome to come, you know. We can get you slightly larger accommodations.”
“I can’t ask her to come with me just because I need someone to vent to at the end of the day.”
“Have you asked her? What am I saying, of course you haven’t.”
“I haven’t asked her because I know the answer.”
Paolo furrows his brow, eyes narrowing. “But you asked her to marry you? How is that much different?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Yeah, seems like it is. You might want to uncomplicate it before you’re halfway across the world and the distance does what you wouldn’t.”
“I thought you liked her.”
“I do like her. A lot. I’ve just seen what the kind of life you and I lead does to a relationship.”
“We’re figuring it out.”
“You said that before, but I don’t know what it means.”
“It means we’re figuring it out.”
“You forget, I’ve heard you bullshit before, Xavier.”
“What am I supposed to do? What would you do?”
“No way, this is why I don’t do relationships, and last I checked, it’s why you didn’t either. It all happened fast, yeah?”
“Excruciatingly slow and then whiplash fast.”
