Hudson’s smile faltered. I’d triggered something with my words. Using everything I knew about him, I tried to replicate his possible train of thought. What had I said wrong? It didn’t take long to make a guess.
I stalked forward and boxed him in against the counter. He licked his lips and loosely wrapped his arms around my waist.
“It was the best night’s sleep because it was with you, not because I’ve missed sharing a bed with a warm body.”
Hudson’s shoulders relaxed. “I’ll admit I was worried about that. Is this too fast? What if you haven’t had enough time to be single? Not that we’re in a relationship or anything.” I intercepted his shaky hand before he could run it through his curls.
“I’d like to be in a relationship. We don’t need to label it yet if you don’t want to.” I was messing it up. I didn’t want him to doubt that I was in it or think I didn’t care enough to have my own wants. “I know we’re fumbling through this, but I’m not interested in dating anyone else. I want to explore this with you.” I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.
I gave him a gentle kiss before returning to the stove. I could tell he needed a minute to think, and hell, I did too. We idly chatted about his day with Ollie while I prepared the salad.
Once the noodles were ready, Hudson dished up wet food for General Ledger. I pulled out a third chair at the dining table and showed Hudson the seat I’d made for Ledgie so she could sit on the chair and eat at the table with us. The kiss he gave me made the added afternoon stress of putting it together worth it.
Once the three of us were settled at the table, comfortable like we’d done it a hundred times, I took a bite of the pasta. It turned out pretty fucking good. Ma would be proud. We settled into a comfortable silence as we dug in.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about being single,” I said abruptly.
Hudson slowly chewed and held my eye contact.
“Even before this whirlwind weekend, I mean. I don’t think it matters that I haven’t been single for very long or that I’ve been in a relationship basically my entire adult life. I’m not a codependent person, but I enjoy sharing my life with someone. I can be my own person and enjoy being part of a relationship.”
Hudson watched me closely.
“I think that was part of the problem with our marriage. We developed into adults and were different people than the high schoolers we’d been when we started dating. People who were no longer compatible where it counted. We held on for years longer than we should’ve.” Probably due to the stubbornness and pride in being high school sweethearts who made it.
It was hard to swallow as I remembered the many arguments we’d had about careers, family, moving. We eventually disagreed on everything major. Hudson’s thumb brushed the back of my hand. He knew how hard it’d been and had shown up countless times when I’d needed to head to the lanes and bowl off some steam. We’d had deep conversations about what my ex and I fought over and his marriage troubles too. Hudson and I were always on the same page with the things that mattered to me.
“When you put it that way, it makes sense.” He stared off into the distance as he chewed another bite.
I waited, holding my breath for the nod. The one Hudson did whenever he needed to puzzle through something before he was satisfied.
He nodded, and my shoulders dropped from my ears.
Hudson opened his mouth a few times before words came out. “I like that I can be myself around you. To be honest, I’ve never been so comfortable around someone. You don’t mind how particular I can be with things.”
I laughed but got what he meant. He’d often shared during our friendship when people grew frustrated with how he liked to organize his life and how he approached certain tasks with militant precision. That was part of who he was, just like my laid-back attitude around those things was part of who I was. We understood that about each other and compromised.
“And I noticed you filled the dishwasher as you cooked. I’m very impressed.”
I was pleased he’d noticed. If someone like Hudson could deal with my messy ass, there was hope for us yet.
“Ollie said he wouldn’t mention anything to the rest of the team or your other coworkers.” Hudson studied his plate as he scooped another bite.
“Do you want to stay quiet about us or go public?” I wanted to go public. I didn’t want to secretly date him and leave him worrying I would change my mind at any moment. This was real for me, and I wanted to know it was for him too.
“I bet some people will be confused, but I’m not ashamed. Maybe not do a couple announcement social media post tonight, but I don’t want to hide you either. Or hide us.”
I squeezed his hand. “That’s perfect. I’m proud to date you, and I want to treat this like I would any other new relationship.”
He gave me a soft, sweet smile I wanted to hold in my heart forever.
Hudson sat back and rubbed his sexy, thick belly. “That was delicious. Thank you. I’ll be expecting you to cook more gourmet meals.”
I chuckled. “My pleasure.” I carried the dishes to the dishwasher, dismissing his insistence that he should clean since I’d cooked. Maybe next time, but for this date, I wanted to show him I saw him, really saw him, and cared about what mattered to him.
Once the dishes were put away and the pans were soaking, I cleaned off the counter because Hudson always worried about ants. I didn’t want his mind wandering to anything other than us tonight.
When finished, I turned around, and Hudson was there, tugging me toward him and wrapping his arms tightly around me. He kissed me hungrily—feeding the flame flickering all night. I forced myself to pull back.
