Chapter Thirty-Four
Henry
Andy didn’t speak to me after we disembarked the boat that night, and Jace became the middle man, doing what he could to bridge the gap that had come between us. While I admired his efforts, the same couldn’t be said for Andy and me.
Andy had washed his hands of me, getting Jace to tell me the vacation had finished for him the moment I’d looked like I was ready to put him on his arse to defend Phoebe’s honour.
Me? I had no energy for anything other than her.
Once we’d stepped off the boat, after spending the rest of it hidden away in one of the hulls, Phoebe and I had kissed goodbye, and then I’d sent her on her way to speak to Bailey and Rhea about everything. Just because my relationship with my friends had gone to shit didn’t mean the same had to happen for her. Those girls meant the world to her, and she needed to protect that. To nurture it. To make sure she had honest, open, and frank conversations after everything we’d done to deceive the four of them.
I’d made my way back to my apartment and locked myself away, doing nothing more than throwing myself on the bed, putting my hands behind my head, and staring up at the ceiling, wondering what the fuck my mum and dad would have made of all this.
My father James would have no doubt given me a congratulatory clap on the back, telling me how proud he was of me for bagging a “worldie” like Phoebe Turner. Someone most men would give their left testicle to spend the night with. We’d been best friends, my father and I, and he’d loved nothing more than sitting down by my side to ask about my day. I’d often tell him the playground gossip, discuss the drama of friendship groups, ask his advice, and he’d always given me that look and smile that told me I had it all figured out already, even if I hadn’t realised it yet. He’d made me feel in control of my own destiny, even from a young age.
I missed having him in my corner, having him ground me.
But Mum? She’d have been the softly spoken voice in my ear, the arms around my shoulders, and the forehead against the side of my head. I imagined her holding me now, talking me through everything, and the quiet annoyance she’d hold for Andy and his behaviour. I imagined her in front of me with that soft, cheeky look in her eyes.
“She seems nice, this Phoebe.”
“Don’t start, Mum.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s only a fling.”
“Is it? Hmm. Then, why is she all you can think about? Why do you feel more alive than ever before when you’re with her? And don’t tell me you don’t, because I see right through you. Always have.”
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “Because it’s illicit?”
“Or because it’s real?”
“Jesus, Mum. Always so cheesy.”
“Don’t be cheeky.” She pushed her thick hair away from her face. “Us mothers know things about our sons you can’t even begin to comprehend yet, Henry. Like when they feel happy and free to be themselves. Especially when theydon’t.” She raised her brows.
“You telling me you like Phoebe?”
“I think she’s good for you.”
“I’ve known her less than two weeks.”
“So what? She makes you feel alive. Isn’t that enough?”
I stared at her, wishing she could give me all the answers I’d so often told her I didn’t need.
“I don’t know what’s enough and what isn’t anymore,” I admitted, feeling like the young boy who’d lost his parents all over again instead of the colder man I’d somehow trained myself to become. “Loving anyone means losing them eventually. Isn’t it best to just?—”
“Oh, stop, Henry. Stop.” My mother’s lightness morphed into an annoyance I’d always hated to see staring back at me. “I raised you better than this.”
“You were the best.”Are the best, I wanted to say.
“And now you have Nina.” Her smile reached her eyes, but the sadness still shone from her. “Nina loves you like she loves Andy, so stop pretending you don’t matter to your new family. Stop pretending you don’t matter just because we’re not there anymore. Remember your own worth, because watching this put-together version of my son is torturing me.”
I pushed up onto my elbows on the bed, taking her in with my brows creased. “Are you disappointed in me?”
She shook her head. “I’m frustrated with you. So, we’re gone. Okay. That’s hard. I miss you every day, too. But you’re still there, and so is she. So is everyone around you who loves you, even Andy.”
“Andy is…”
“Nina’s boy, and you’re hers too now. Right now, that’s who you need. Nina.” Mum reached out to cradle my cheek. “Call her. Call your new mum.”
