Page 10 of Learning to Love
“This is why you weren’t keen on walking, isn’t it? You don’t like being recognized."
“It’s all part and parcel of what I do. Much easier with you around, though." He shrugs, but his words make me feel like I'm floating on a raft at speed.
***
Ellie
We reach the beachside bar, and he’s recognized yet again. He asks for a private
booth at the back, as far away from the entrance as possible, and they indulge him. I order a glass of rose wine, and he orders a ginger beer.
Only after the waitress has left, no doubt to tell everyone in the kitchen about us, does Sam take off his cap and sunglasses. His eyes are the same hue as a stormy ocean. He places a hand above mine on the table. He’s got large sailor hands, rough and calloused. I shiver, remembering last weekend when his hands were all over me.
The waitress returns with our drinks, and silence hangs above us like an invisible thread.
He leans close. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I thought it was for the best.” His voice is low, nearly a whisper. “I missed you.” He squeezes my hand.
I try to catch a glimpse of the truth in his eyes. He holds my stare with an intensity I've seen before, when we first met. It happened only last weekend, but it feels like a lifetime.
He lifts my hand to his lips and slowly kisses it. “In the short time we’ve known each other, I’ve never seen you at a loss for words. Unlike me.”
He’s affecting me so much, I need to clear my head. “Is this how it’s going to be? You’re going to look for me when you want to get me in bed, and the rest of the time, you’ll be a stranger?” I blurt out, unable to contain my feelings any longer.
He draws back, shell-shocked. I don’t know what he expected but this definitely wasn’t it. He’s going to withdraw from me again. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I don’t know what to say. Corey would tell you all the right things, and you’d forgive him in an instant.” He looks down and smiles bitterly. “He’s a lucky bastard.”
“I don’t want Corey. I want you.” And as soon as I say the words, I know them for truth. All we’ve got between us is one night of hot sex and one week apart, but one look in his eyes and touch of his fingers, and I know I want him.
He looks up at me with renewed hope.
“But I don’t want to be messed around with. If we’re dating, we’re dating. If we’re not dating, we’re not dating.” Not sure that I’m using the right words for what I’m trying to convey.
But he gets it. “We’re dating. And I’ll let you know in advance when I’m going away. And I’ll find a way to get in touch with you.” He looks serious and determined.
“Ok, let’s do this.” I lean over and kiss his nose. He laughs and pulls me in for a kiss on the lips.
“Shall we get food here, or …” I ask in between kissing and nibbling on his lower lip.
“How about we go to my house for dinner? I can make some sushi.” He gives me a hot look while stroking my hair.
“No fucking way. You know how to make sushi?” Is there an end to this man’s skills? “Do you sing? What other talents do you have?”
He laughs heartily. “Come home with me, and I’ll show you.”
Now I'm really weak at the knees. We pay for our drinks and head back to his car, hand in hand.
“Where’s your car? Back at the school? Do you want to follow me?” he asks all of a sudden. How thoughtful of him.
“I park down by the lake, about 15 minutes away. It’s free.” I raise my shoulders apologetically. “I’ll leave it there tonight and bus my way in tomorrow.”
He seems to think about it but doesn’t say anything. We get in his spaceship of a car again, but this time he’s in the driver’s seat, so different from last time we were together. His hand caresses my thigh from time to time, and I feel a rush of excitement coupled with apprehension move through me. I met someone - a man I couldlove.
***
Sam
With Ellie by my side, the windows down, and the sea air rushing past as we drive over the bridge, I’m feeling like the luckiest man alive.
I don’t know why I suggested we make sushi. I’ve made it once before in my life, and it was edible but not stellar. I suppose I just wanted to get her into my space, make her presence and light fill the empty corners of my house.
