Page 1 of Learning to Love
Chapter 1
Sam
The best ideas come to me when I'm on the water. Through the ocean expanse in front of me, the waves, or speeding through in a sailing boat, I can justbe. The lingering stillness, the sun, the bird calls, the loud pounding of the surf have been my favorite music since I was a boy.
I lean against a doorway, fading evening sun on my face, drink in hand, and close my eyes, imagining I’m back on the water, my pulse slowing down …
“Stop hogging the doorway, Sam.”. Gracie’s impatient words snap me out of my reverie. I crash land back into the jam-packed house party on Auckland’s North Shore. Too much noise. Too people-y. This is why I never go to parties.
Gracie rushes past me with what looks like a small mountain of vegetables ready to topple over. She drops them on the counter. “Come out of hiding and help Ellie here with the salads, and then we’ll see you both outside. Shout if you need anything.” With barely a glance over her shoulder, Gracie, ever the perfect hostess, waves towards the door. A woman, petite—can’t be more than a few inches over five feet—curvy, hair dark velvet, eyes the color of an ocean sunset - just stands there as if she isn’t some sort of sea goddess.
Who could notice any other damn thing with a whirlwind like Gracie flying through? No wonder I hadn’t seen the girl trailing behind her, struggling with two large bowls. I hastily put my drink down, relieve her of the bowls, and clear some space on the counter.
The sea goddess named Ellie pushes hair behind her ear and smiles shyly. “Hey there. Gracie asked me to prepare some salads for the barbecue. She said you could help us out. Hope you don’t mind.” Ellie flicks her gaze in my direction then back down at the countertop.
Every word sounds a bit strained, like she is embarrassed. Or maybe afraid? I’m making her uncomfortable. I realize I’m staring and snap out of it. I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not looking for anything casual, either. Corey says every time I start seeing someone, I fall.Hard. I might as well be a eunuch these days. But I won’t be for much longer if I stay near the goddess. She tempts me too much, and maybe… if I turned on the charm, she’ll say yes.
No. Gotta shut those thoughts down hard. I’ll escape after dinner. Sooner if I can get these salads out of the way.
No escaping from the salads though. I put on my well-worn camera smile. “Sweet. What are we making? How can I help?”
My smile, albeit forced, seems to have put her at ease. She beams back, making my heart beat slightly faster. This is soooo not good news. Maybe if I went out more, I wouldn’t have such a response to one pretty girl.
She points at one of the large bowls. “How about you wash the lettuce, then shred it into this bowl.” She points at one of the large bowls. “I’ll slice the rest of the veggies and make the vinaigrette. Then we’ll put it all together, toss in some grilled halloumi, and we’re ready to go.”
She can cook, eh? My skills in the kitchen are limited to eggs on toast, so all this talk of vinaigrettes and halloumi is making me more nervous than the last World Sailing Championships when it looked like we were losing. Racing heart, shaky hands. Hopefully no puking, though. I avoid looking at her, pick up the lettuce and carry it to the sink. As the silence stretches and we work side by side, I contemplate briefly what it would be like to have someone to cook with, to live with. The thought passes as quickly as it came. I can’t do it, and it would be foolish to pretend otherwise. I’m never at home. I don’t have time for a relationship, and unlike Corey, I don’t knowhowto keep things casual.
“I’m Ellie by the way,” she says. “I don’t think I caught your name, but you look familiar. Have we met before?” Her eyes narrow and her head tilts to the side, considering, likely, where she’s seen me.
I’m fighting an urge to kiss her. “I don’t think we’ve met before. I’d remember. Trust me.” Just what thehellam I doing? For a moment I feel reckless, like I’m back on the water, and a big surge is coming towards me. Her smile is everything. Seems like I can’t get enough of it. My flirting skills have always been subpar, but today I’m really feeling it. It sounds like a pickup line, but it’s the truth. Just met her and I can’t look away from her hair, her eyes, her lips. Damn, those lips. Her eyes widen, and her gaze flicks to my lips. And I’m less than a foot from her, leaning in as if I were about to kiss her. I pull back as if shocked.
“Then maybe I’ve seen you on TV. Reality TV shows? The News? Hmm ...” She puts the final touches to her masterpieces. They look more like works of art than salads. I feel loath to eat them.
Eatingherup like the masterpiece she is, on the other hand … My resolve is going downhill fast. Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve dated or even been on a date. I should really go out more. I’m drooling like a teenager over someone I met ten minutes ago.
“Ahem?”
I’ve been lost in space yet again, and left her question hanging in the air between us. What time is it? If it’s after 7 PM, maybe I can make an excuse and get away before I do something stupid.
“My name’s Sam,” I say. “I’m a sailor. I have a couple of days off, then I’m back with the guys on the water.” Two days, but standing in this kitchen, in close proximity to Ellie, it feels like a lifetime away. Paddy told me time stood still when he met Gracie, but I laughed it off.
Well played Paddy, well played.
“Sam … I think I recognize you now! You’re Sam Northcroft. From the sailing team.” The tongs she’s holding clatter to the countertop and she stares wide-eyed at me. “I’m not really into sailing, but you guys won the Olympics. That’s an amazing achievement, huge thing for our country.” She picks up one of the bowls, gestures for me to get the other one, and we make our way out to the barbecue area. I watch, mesmerized by the sway of her hips.
“Sam, bro, come here.” The sunshine and Paddy’s words shatter the spell, hurl me back to reality. I put the bowl down on the table and join Paddy at the barbecue. That’s exactly what I need right now to get my mind off Ellie—Paddy and a bit of bullshitting. Some perspective would be good, too. And a lot of resolve.
I’ve been friends with Paddy since we were five. We went to the same school in O'Neills Bay, then our paths separated when I took up sailing, and he became a rugby pro. We met again recently, and it felt like we’d never been apart.
He’s more than met his match in Gracie, who always managed to handle him through his ups and downs. I’m very happy to see him settled, it suits him, but it’s obviously given me ideas I don’t need.
I give him a pat on the back, just like in the old days. “Yo. What’s up?”
“How’s it going, bro? We never see you these days. You’re always on the water. You need a woman to keep you on land, so we can see you more.” He tries to poke me with the meat tongs.
I jerk away from the tongs and lightly punch his shoulder. These days it feels like everyone takes an interest in my love life, from my mum, to my brother, to my Nana who’s got dementia and half the time doesn’t remember who I am, to the newspapers.
I take a deep sigh. “Maybe I like mermaids.”
