Page 144 of The Puck Stops Here
‘I was.’
Oh fuck.
‘He was married,’ she whispered.
‘What?’ Of all the things he’d expected… ‘Did you know?’
She came alive, pushing up off his chest to glare at him. ‘How can you ask me that?’
‘Babe, I?—’
‘AftereverythingI told you about my father. Who he was? What he did?’ She turned away, dragging her knees to her chest as her shoulders quivered and he came up behind her, his hand gentle on her shoulder.
‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. I just?—’
‘IsworeI would never do that to someone. I would never be the other woman. I would never…never… I hated my father for what he did to my mother, I hated what it did to her, and she hated herself for it. How could you…?’
‘I fucked up, I didn’t think.’ Damn, he felt like the scum of the earth. ‘Hey baby, I’m sorry.’ He stroked her hair over her shoulder, kissed the soft skin of her neck. ‘Please come back to me. Please.’
Slowly she turned, but her eyes were downcast, her body folding into him as he wrapped his arms around her.
‘I trusted him,’ she whispered.
‘Did you love him?’
She shook her head. ‘I cared for him. I thought what we had was special. Sex but a connection too. And then one day, his wife rocked up and I… I just ran.’
‘I hope you gave him hell first.’
She swallowed a sob and his heart cracked open.
‘It wasn’t your fault, baby, surely you know that. It was his place to tell you, it’s not on you.’
He eased her onto her back. Her eyes were clamped shut, the tears seeping from each corner tearing him apart.
‘You did nothing wrong.’
He kissed each eyelid, traced each damp trail, and then kissed her trembling lips until she softened beneath him, her arms and legs wrapping around him.
It made so much sense now, the walls she had up. She wasn’t just a woman who couldn’t trust a man to stick around through the worst, she was the woman who had let a man in only to have it crush her. Turning her into her worst nightmare.
That was what he was up against.
At least he knew the score, and just like in the game, to know what you were up against was half the battle won… though he had a feeling that the stakes with Astrid ran so much higher than anything that had come before.
But she was worth it, and she’d made him feel worthy of it. That whole trick with the mirror, turning the act on him… he’d felt it. Every word she’d said, he’d felt it in his bones.
Of all the people in the world, she knew the worst of him and still she wanted him. That had to mean something deeper, something more, something worth exploring just as his brother had said… if only he could open her eyes to it.
‘I’m crazy about you.’
It was out before he could stop it and she shook her head.
‘Don’t. You don’t need to make me feel better. I don’t deserve?—’
‘Hey, I’m not saying it to make you feel better. I’m saying it because it’s true.’
She gave a tearful laugh. ‘Well, you won’t be saying that when my PMDD drops in to say hello next week.’
