Would an infant even remember me? Perhaps it’s easier if they don’t. I’ll just be a tall stranger who periodically shows up with gifts. A face on a computer screen, like so many others, trying to hold a baby’s attention during a fussy video call.
When Natalia gave me the news, I wanted to fall at her feet like the knight in the tale. Hearing how adamant she was aboutstaying in the US, observing the stiff courtesy it required of her to have me in the same room when she so definitively will never forgive me… I couldn’t humiliate myself by asking—once again—for her to reconsider.
My pleas after Budapest had no effect. I told her, when she broke the news of the pregnancy, that I would supply her with every resource for comfort. The most valuable of those resources, I now see, will be my lack of interference in her life.
The child will want for nothing, but I dare not make again the same mistake that spoiled Natalia’s love for me—I cannot assert my will over hers.
Phaedra’s face pops up in my peripheral vision, and I tap the keyboard to unmute the call. She waves while taking a sip of what looks to be a fruit smoothie, then sets it aside.
“What’s shakin’, Klausy?”
“I’m well, thank you. How was the trip to Switzerland?”
She shrugs. “Twenty-four hours of sticking my metaphoric tongue down the back of Leon’s trousers. I pretended to believe his pharma company is doing important research into various ‘lady problems,’ as he so quaintly puts it, and he pretended they don’t make most of their money off boner pills and lip fillers. Downside: I wanted to take a fuckin’ shower after every convo with him. Upside: He went with us instead of Team Easton, and I walked outta his place with twenty mil from our newest sponsor.”
“You clearly charmed him.”
A bray of laughter escapes Phaedra. “Oh, you know it. He was so enchanted that he said he’d be happy to provide a free appointment for what he called ‘the works’ at one of their clinics. Said I wouldn’t look ‘so tired’ if I got a little Botox and collagen.” Shegives a sarcastic eyelash-flutter. “I smiled and curtsied; then me and my troublesome uterus got the fuck outta Dodge.”
I chuckle. “Your legendary temper has been mellowed this past year with a dash of your father’s diplomacy.”
“Right? I was channeling Mo for sure. Otherwise I’da told Leon to go Botox his dick.”
I take a drink of my Pellegrino as Phaedra pauses to drink her smoothie.
“What did you think of those new numbers from aero?” I ask. “Noel was optimistic.”
“Already chatted with him, yep.” She ticks off things on her fingers. “Met with Noel, ironed out that confusion with Anika’s and Quinn’s departments, talked Charlie off the ledge about the ERS fuckery. After this I should probably get on the horn with Jakob’s physio. He thinks Jake might have rotator cuff tendinopathy, for fuck’s sake.”
“You can cross that off your list. I spoke to them both a few hours ago, with Dr. Bartosz, who recommends against a cortisone shot.”
“Okay, cool.”
I’m torn on whether to compliment Phaedra for how masterfully she’s done this year with the team after her father’s death. On one hand, it seems like the type of condescension for which Natalia took me to task. On the other, Edward specifically asked me to step in as a surrogate father figure, and I’m sure the acknowledgment would be valued if she’d heard it from him. I try to find the right phrasing.
“Emerald is flourishing in your capable hands,” I say. “Your attention to detail and your intuition are impressive.”
She rolls her eyes, dismissive, but I can see her pride bloom under the sunshine of praise. “Yeah, whatever. Thanks. So, you gonna see Nat again before São Paulo?”
I don a cool expression at the sudden change of subject, taking a slow drink of my water, eyes fixed on her.
“Oh, stop it,” she says, flipping one hand. “Don’t do your icy psych-out look and expect me to cower. I know you too well. We’re not going to tiptoe around the fact thaty’all are in the family way, as my mom would put it. ‘KlauTalia’ is expecting a mini-KlauTalia, so let’s put that shit on the table.” She strokes her chin in a parody of contemplation. “Is that a good celebrity couple nickname for you guys? It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but neither does ‘Nataus.’ They both kinda suck.”
“You seem to have forgotten, Schatzi, that she and I are not a couple.”
“Ooh, ‘sheand I.’ Can’t even say her name? And yeah, not currently. But owing to the existence of the pea in the pod, you’ll always have a connection. Could’ve been something more if you hadn’t been such a dumbass with those fake plans you sent her.”
A sore spot of shame flares in me, knowing Phaedra knows. “She told you about that?”
“Duh. Best friends tell each other everything. Though I had to wait as long as you did to hear you knocked her up. She held that one close to the vest. But quit brushing off my question: Are you going to Kentucky for the doctor thing on Monday?”
“I wasn’t invited. She prefers to—”
“The fuck you weren’t,” Phaedra cuts in. “Nat said her aunt left the door wide open.” She looks down at her phone, thumbs flying over the keyboard. My own buzzes in my pocket. “Thereya go—contact info for Nat’s aunt. Why don’t you askherif you should show up?”
My nostrils flare. “Talia’s reaction made it clear my presence would be unwelcome.”
With a flat look of impatience, Phaedra blows her fringe out of her eyes. “Y’know, most guys are such dipshits that it’s like their brains are just a support system for a penis, but I’ve always thought you were smarter.”
