“Stay away. Stay away,” I snap, shoving him back. I hear him hit the ground and a pang of regret hits me. “Please. Tomás, run.”
Darkness is creeping around every corner. It’s reaching me as I see that a drop of his blood has landed on the dirty floor of the box. There’s already dried blood and scratches coating it, but all of that is my blood or the blood of the person before me.
I lick the drop of blood, driven mad by the taste. I’m so hungry. So hungry.
“Ender, kill him.”
That voice is all there is left. There’s no way out.
Yes, I must kill him. Everything is better when I do what I’m told. Yes, if I listen, the darkness isn’t as bad. I don’t hurt as much. Everything is better. Yes, everything is better now. It’s all fine now.
“Ender…” Tomás whispers.
I tear back and choke on the blood. It’s in my mouth and as I try to spit it out, I see it running down my brother’s throat. How long have I been drinking from him? When did I even attack him? What have I done? “No, no, no,” I whisper as I reach for Tomás, but he’s not moving. My name was the last word on his lips, the terror on my face the last thing he saw. He’s not…
“No, please. I’m sorry. Please. No…”
I squeeze him to me, begging that I’m wrong. Begging that he’s still alive. What have I done? I really am the monster, not Abel. I’m the one who killed him. He didn’t kill Tomás. I did.
“If you’d listened, he wouldn’t have died,” Abel says. “I would have let you keep him. Like a little reward for you.”
“Save him. Please. Save him.”
“He’s dead. I can’t save the dead.Youkilled him. He’s dead becauseyourefused to listen to me.”
I can still taste his blood in my mouth and it makes me sick. I spit it out but what does it solve? My brother is dead, and he died by my hands.Iam the one who killed him. My hands are shaking. All I am is a monster.
Abel walks over and tips my chin up. “You have one purpose and that is to kill. Do you understand?”
Something breaks in me as all of the fear, the pain, the sadness just tears apart inside of me.
I slowly lower Tomás to the ground and crawl back to the darkness of that box. The darkness is the only place I can escape. I curl up and stare at the wall I once fought to get out of and now welcome because in here, I don’t have to be afraid of myself and what I’ve become.
“You don’t need emotions, you don’t need ties to others. Any person you ever try to love again, I will make you kill them as you’ve killed your brother. Your only purpose is the removal of vampires. You will kill the true vampires and those who I’ve not created. Anyone who stands up to me will find death by your hands. You’re unlike the others. You feed off their blood because you are here to reap the lives of those who might stand in my way. That is your only purpose. Do you understand that now?”
I never move or speak as he stands over me. Eventually, he must tire because I hear him drag my brother’s body from the room. For hours, it’s all I can hear.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ENDER
“Hey. Come on. Wake up.”
I jerk awake, dragged out of that dream as I shove myself up and immediately lose my balance when the world shifts around me. Somehow, Mads catches me before I crash to the ground.
“Hey, it’s okay. Are you okay? I’m here,” he says, voice soft. “Easy there. I think we were both down for a minute after that.”
I don’t remember passing out. I just remember…
I turn and look at the debris that’s left of the building we’d been held in, the building I’d done everything I could to get us away from and the same one Mads had chosen to take us back to. The far end is still standing, but everything near us is nothing but rubble and bodies.
“We need to get the keys for one of these vehicles. Abel wasn’t among those who attacked us, so I don’t know if he’s heading here right now or what. And I’m sure others heard the explosion and will be here shortly. You okay to help?”
“Yeah,” I say, honestly a bit confused by what happened. I feel like my head is fuzzy and I can’t tell if that’s contributing toit or what. I push myself up and discover that while I still feel like death, that horrible pain in my shoulder has significantly lessened. Did whatever Mads inject me with actually work? I guess if it was going to kill me, it would have killed me by now and wouldn’t make me feel better.
There’s a touch on my face that startles me, and my attention snaps back to Mads.
“You okay? If you’re not feeling well, just sit and watch my back.” I realize he’s wiping blood off my cheek.
