“Mads, wake the fuck up,” I say as I shake him.
“Get him in a windowless room, now. Before someone realizes what we’ve done,” Marcus orders.
I pick him up and carry him into a room before someone shuts the door behind us, and I realize that Marcus is right. If Abel doesn’t realize that Mads is still alive, there’s a chance of getting him out of this unharmed. He will have to rethink his plans of taking over and he won’t be fixated on taking Mads from me.
“Mads, come on,” I say as I shake him again, not understanding why he’s not waking up if Finn gave him the antidote so quickly. Is it because of how young he is? I smack his face gently, wanting to startle him awake. What if my dream was a premonition of what’s to come? What if I could have protected him if I hadn’t chased after the vampires who’d fled? “Mads, come on. Wake the fuck up. Come on. You better not have coerced me into caring about you before going and dying on me.”
He groans as his eyes open. “You like me?”
“Fuck,” I hiss as my head drops down to his chest while relief floods through me. No part of what just happened was good, but having him here with me matters more than anything.
“It’s okay,” Mads assures me, like any part ofanyof this is okay.
I sit up to give him a look so he’s very clear how I feel about all of this. “What if Finn hadn’t had the antidote? I couldn’t have gotten to you in time. You would have died. You didn’t give it to him yesterday because you didn’t have enough to spare one for a human, so you couldn’t have guaranteed that he had it.”
“Very true,butI knew there’d be absolutely no way Marcus wouldn’t force him to carry it on his person,” he tries to assure me.
“If hehadn’t, you would have died.”
“I was like ninety-five percent positive he would have, though.”
“That means you still weren’t positive that you wouldn’t fuckingdie,” I growl. “FUCK.” I drop my head on his chest as all of these emotions I can’t seem to tackle hit me at once. I’m angry that he would risk his own life like that, I’m furious that Abel was going to take him from me, but more than anything, I’m so relieved that he’s still okay.
My fingers dig into his bloody shirt as he wraps his arms around me, and I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so much relief. How can simply two arms make me feel like this?
Mads’s fingers rub my back so softly, like he’s trying to rub away the pain I felt when I feared he’d die. “Hey, I’m okay. But I was afraid that if I didn’t do something soon, many of us wouldn’t be. We know he wants me and if he had no reason to take me, then we could possibly drive him off. So if I faked my own death, he might leave. I know it wasn’t ideal, but really, it did keep more people from getting hurt or dying. And I’m okay. I really am.”
I try to nod because I understand why he did it, but I’m still struggling to comprehend it myself. I just…
My fingers dig tighter. “I had a dream you died last night.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I had a dream I killed you like I killed my brother. And don’t fucking say that you know I wouldn’t kill you. I knew Tomás for many years. I adored him. I would have done anything for him… but when I lose myself… you don’t understand how I lose all sense of control.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine the pain that caused.”
“Abel destroyed my life to break me down. He killed them or hurt them or made me watch as he destroyed them just so he could break my mind until there was nothing left of me. He took everything that made me who I was. I feared that darkness so much until I realized that it was the only place I felt safe. It was the only place where I didn’t hurt or wasn’t forced to hurt others. Since I was a young vampire, I couldn’t control myself like I can now. He knew how to drive me to that state where I’d lose control and it took me so many years to learn how to control myself… how to get away. I feel like I’m only starting to reclaim the person I once was. You can’t fucking die on me.”
His fingers slide into my hair, his hold quite gentle, yet how can it feel so strong? “I’m sorry. I really am sorry. I know I was taking a risk, but I promise you that the risk was worth it. We’re going to stop him.”
“How? Do you not realize how many fucking vampires he has on his side? The council, which has complete control, is currently in his hands.”
“Then we simply take it back,” Mads says.
“Simply?” I laugh at this man’s ludicrous ideas because nothing is ever simple.
“I know nothing sounds easy… but please, have faith in me.” His fingers sink into my hair as his free hand gives me another squeeze.
I nod. “I do. Stay in here and play dead; I’m going to see what I can do to help.” I have to force myself away from him, which really shouldn’t be this hard to do.
“I will hide myself away appropriately,” he assures me.
I grab his head and pull him in for a quick kiss, knowing that I’ve already spent too much time in here when I need to be out there helping others. What if Abel only pulled back for a little while to gain more ground? But no… this was definitely a threat. He’s showing the VRC that he has control of it and that if they don’t begin doing what he wants, he’s going to wipe them out. He’s giving them one more chance to conform to his ways, and if they’re not careful, there will be no VRC left standing.
I shut the door behind me and look over to where Finn is trying to help someone. I’m glad to see that he has his arm back on and it doesn’t appear to be damaged. “What can I do?” I ask.
“Uh… fuck… I’m overwhelmed,” he says as I notice the blood on his shaky hands. He really should see a doctor himself, but I know he’s going to put others first. Hell, even after what I’ve done, he’s put me above himself again and again. But why? What makes him so good? What makes him so capable of caring forothers no matter what they’ve done to him? “Um… Brooks is up and is going to be okay, we got here in time to save him with Mads’s antidote, but we only had five antidotes, and now we’re down to one because we used two others on vampires. One was too late, but the other seems to be recovering. Right now, we just need to stabilize the wounded. They’re sending more emergency vehicles. I just… I don’t know. Maybe get blood to those who have lost too much. Let’s start there?”
